Feels Like Starting Over

Tomorrow's when I start heading out to meet my New York people. I'm so excited! It turns out that Peter's going to be too busy to go with me (big shot PR guy that he is) so I don't have to worry about the guilt of Kev not being by my side.

Random: I love lesbians!

I've never really had close friends who happen to be gay women, but my mother of all people introduced me to this couple from her book club. The three of them have become really good friends, and Mom wanted me to meet them. I wonder if this is her way of telling me she might like the ladies... :-) Anyway, they're both professional women, in their mid 30s, have been together for ten years, and are thinking about having a baby. That's all really great, I think. But, my god, they're so nice! I thought lesbians hated gay guys, but we got along really well, and we have so much in common. Plus, it turns out they're from Washington state and still have friends and family over there. I told them to look me up the next time they visit. I honestly feel as if I've known them all my life, which I know is a very strange thing to say since I've only known them for a couple of days. But... Maybe it's the complex of growing up as an only child who always wanted sisters. Who knows??

The five of us are going to have dinner tonight, and then tomorrow I head into the city. So far, this has been a great trip. I can't wait to see what happens on the rest of it.

I've been working like a mad man to get everything covered for my vacation. This Fillmore thing threw me for a loop, but between Sandy and the other admin support staff, things should be all right. The new guy is...interesting. I think I misjudged him. It's only been a few days, but I'm definitely thinking that the incompetence thing is an act to see exactly what I can handle. We'll see. And he's maybe a teensy bit charming. Kev thinks he's sort of testing me, too. He also thinks I should try flirting with the man to see how he reacts. I think my boyfriend's on drugs.

This is K: I need drugs. He's leaving me for a week.

This is me: I'll bring you back something nice.

K: Bastard

Me: I'll miss you, too, pookie.

K: Don't call me pookie.

It's poetry, isn't it? Anyway, Kevin's moping (and I'm regretting that he can't go with me :-( :-( :-( :-(:-( ), but, yes, I am going on vacation for a week. Actually, I'm going to be away from him for nine nights. He's told me I don't have to call him every night, but like hell I'll listen to him. Since you're sitting right next to me, reading what I type, officer, you are going to get a call from me every night, end of story. See? I knew you'd like that, Mr. Tough Guy.

My laptop is going with me, though, and while I've promised myself I won't do any work, I feel better that I can be connected, just in case. Plus, I'll want to check in and see what everyone here is up to!

Okay. Down to business!

I will be leaving for the east coast tomorrow night. I'll be spending Saturday through Tuesday in Connecticut so I can see Mom and Peter. I have Wednesday through Saturday slated for anyone who'd like to meet up with me while I'm out there. I've talked to a few folks from New York, and I think it would be fun to get together, even if it's just for drinks or lunch or something. Obviously, no one has to say hi, but if you'd like to, please let me know so we can schedule something. And if no one does, Petey and Mom will be stuck with me all week!

I think Wendell knows I'm going somewhere. He seems miffed with me and is sticking closer to Kevin than usual. Our puppy's giving me guilt! Bless his little heart.

Last night was great. I can't believe I'd been so nervous beforehand! Kevin's friends were so sweet and warm and I felt so welcome. There were three other couples there, including another Jewish/Catholic combo. (Let me see if I can remember everyone's names... We went to Joel and Sara's house, and were joined by Sid and Nancy (yes, I did crack up but they'd heard it all before and were very good-natured about it) and Dave and Carol.) Kevin and I are going to plan a dinner party once all the moving's been settled, and have all of them over.

The seder itself was actually pretty cool. I told Kevin later that thinking about all the tradition involved kind of got to me because I felt as if I was allowed to be part of something that was so much bigger than myself, and I was really touched. Obviously, the Catholic church is full of tradition, pomp and ceremony, but this felt so different. I can't explain it, and Kev didn't make me try.

All right, be warned that I'm going to get a little sappy. I feel very sappy, anyway.

Before we went to bed, all I could think about was the BIG talk I needed to have with him. Mom and Peter had me second guessing myself and so worried that maybe I was doing the wrong thing, I wanted to make sure Kevin really was okay with everything. Before I could even start talking, though, Kevin told me he loved me, and said that he knew it might seem fast, but he wanted me to know how he felt and that if I needed more time, he'd understand. I really wasn't expecting that, and I think I scared him because I was so quiet. (The last time I felt that emotional was when Peter and I made up after over ten years of estrangement.)

I told Kevin I loved him, too, and then we...well, you can figure that part out. Afterwards, we made the final decision that W and I would move in with him. I don't know what time we finally fell asleep, but I'm not even tired today. I'm so damn happy, I'm taking Sandy and a couple of the other assistants out for lunch today to celebrate. (Apparently, my personal life is fodder for their lunchtime conversation. When Sandy told me, I didn't get mad. I probably should have, but... It's all so funny to me and I have nothing to hide. So, why not take them out? I can give them firsthand accounts of the latest developments. Does that make me weird? Hmm, maybe I can consider them pseudo-groupies. Counting Ynez (though she's an imaginary one - and there IS a difference!), that would make four.)

Kev's off this weekend, so we're going to make the move then. He'll come over after work tonight and tomorrow and help me pack. I don't have very many things, but packing always seems to take longer than I think it will.

He said he loves me. I can't stop smiling.

I hate Mondays. Well, no, that's not true. I woke up next to Kev, this morning, so the day got off to a pretty great start.

I think Peter's mad at me. I called him yesterday and started talking about Kevin, and he was so negative about it and a real dick to me. What the hell did I do? I was going to call Mom, but I wasn't in the mood for her comments about Peter and me being a cute couple.

I told Kev what happened and he thinks Peter's jealous because he's used to being the only man in my life. Maybe he is, but that's so stupid. He knows I love him. Though, I guess I can't say that I wouldn't have reacted the same way if the roles had been reversed. God, we're idiots.

Anyway, Kev suggested I let him cool off and then call back and reassure him that nothing's changed. He's even willing to back off a little if it'll help. How could I not love be crazy about this guy? When I explained my relationship with Peter to him when we first started dating, he understood completely. And now, he even understands if I want to see other people. Surprisingly, I feel the same way about him. I trust him to tell me if he was seeing someone else, and I know that he likes me best. Juvenile, I know, but still true.

I'll call Pete, tonight. If he could meet Kevin, he'd love him, too. I should have introduced them when Pete and Mom were here for my birthday.

Before I forget, Kevin's invited me to a seder at his friend's house on Wednesday. I had no idea he's Jewish! I mean, it's never really come up. He says he's a part time Jew the same way I'm a part time Catholic, though, I really think he's more connected to his religion than I am to mine, and he's just being sweet about the fact I haven't been to church in *coughs* years. I'm really excited to go with him, and this is the first time I'm meeting any of his friends. I just hope I don't do anything embarrassing. He assures me it'll be a nice, casual evening (can seders be casual?), and he won't leave my side.

I told Kev that I kind of wish Dad was alive. Not only would he have a shit fit that I'm a "fucking fag," but he'd plotz if he knew my boyfriend was Jewish. (On second thought, we're all better off with the bastard being dead, though, I'd love the chance to stand up to him and throw my happiness in his face.) I also told him I'm not entirely sure how Mom's going to take it because she can be kind of flighty and ignorant when she doesn't understand something. He thinks I'm underestimating her (awwww!).

*sigh* I can't fight it. I love this man.

Miss them.

I've got to see about taking a vacation. I've been here for almost 7 months, but I still have vacation time accrued from when I was in Connecticut.

I could go out to visit Pete and Mom and stop off in New York to meet some of the other folks I've been talking to.

Hmm, suddenly I feel better...

I'm doing nothing today. We all agreed that Orcas could wait, so Mom came over and Peter made brunch. Mom's going to head back to the pub to see her new friend in a little while. He seems like a nice enough guy, and they spent a lot of time talking. I'm happy if she's happy, basically.

Pete and I are probably going to hang out and watch some movies, talk, do all the nothing we've been missing out on. I told him about John and, bless him, he got so pissed off. But it's not a big deal, and I told Pete as much. It's not as if I was in love. We had sex a few times and I enjoyed his company, but if I'd known he had an almostwife and child, I never would have started anything. Sandy actually felt bad about the set up, too. She was just as clueless as I was, though, so she gets to keep her job. I swear, someone is going to take my threats to fire her seriously, one of these days. I would never fire her. She's my right hand woman and I'd be lost without her. There, it's in writing.

Kevin just called. He wants to go out on Wednesday.

I've officially worn them out. Well, the jet lag and I. Mom's back at the hotel and Peter's lying down in my room. I had to get all of this down before the night's done.
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