Feels Like Starting Over

Takes place after this.

So I've started this meditation thing, trying to be more patient and a better person. I've been trying to live a peaceful life, being kinder and gentler to my fellow human beings. It helps that lately I've only wanted to be sweaty and naked with my favorite human being, but that aside, I've been working on being a better man.

Can you believe I think it's starting to pay off? Sort of.

Remember that interview that Kevin was supposed to do with that television station in Seattle? I don't know if the letter he sent me was connected to it in any way - and I really don't care. I didn't read the damn thing and I hope I don't hear from him again. Anyway, the interview is being postponed because Kevin's in the infirmary. According to Sandy, the news reported that a fellow prisoner attacked Kevin. There weren't any more details disclosed, and authorities are chalking it up to Kevin's status as a cop.

I know that I said I didn't want anything to happen to him, and this probably doesn't jibe with my whole "good will to all men" thing, but there's a part of me that's glad this happened. He hurt me. He terrorized me and he made me feel like shit. He threatened my friends and he almost killed me and them. If someone got a little cosmic payback, then more power to them.

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The fucker raped me, so maybe someone did that to him. I hope they did. I hate feeling vindictive, but... I wish Orli had killed him. I wish I'd told Iris she could kill him. I wish someone in prison would kill him. I can't stop feeling him on top of me, hearing him telling me he loves me while he's forcing himself inside me, and I hate him for still being with me that way every time I close my goddamn eyes. The only time I get any peace is when I'm with Orlando. It's not just when we're making love. Just spending time with him makes me feel safe and at ease. I'm less anxious and less antsy when I can talk to him, I feel less angry when I can see him. I love him. He makes me happy but he saves me, too. Maybe it's unfair to put all that on him, but I have so much faith in him as a human being as well as a partner. I know people can't understand how quickly things have moved, but I can and I can't be bothered to explain or justify it. I just know I want to be with him in literally every way possible. Right now, Kevin is ruining that because I'm getting hung up on something. I really want to ask Orli to top me because I know it's going to be as amazing as everything else we've done. But I can't. I'm terrified that I'm going to start thinking of Kevin. It hasn't become an issue or anything but I need to get over it before it does. I need to get over it. I need to fucking get over it.
[/locked]

Of course, now that I think about it, maybe I shouldn't be happy that violence was the solution. Unless it was just karma for what he did to me. I'm confused now.

ooc: Orli's interview and Logan's interview.

"Mr. Porter?"

Will looked at the man who had entered his hospital room, swallowing nervously as he nodded. The police had told him they were taking Orlando and Logan to the station to be interviewed about what had happened to Kevin, and Will was terrified that Kevin's colleagues would find a way to hold the both of them.

"I'm Detective Connelly," the man smiled. He looked friendly enough, as if he wanted to have a harmless converstaion with Will. "I just wanted to ask you a few questions about what happened with Officer Strasser."

Nodding again, Will folded his hands on his lap. "Okay."

"How're you feeling?" the detective asked, pulling a chair up beside the bed. "I spoke to your doctor and he said you were pretty banged up and they're keeping you overnight for observation. I can see some of it," he said, indicating the bruises to Will's face and head.

"I'll be okay," Will said softly. He really wanted Orli there. "Are they still talking to Orlando and Logan?"

"My colleagues are, yes," Connelly said, still smiling as he took out a small notebook and a pen. "Since this case involves an officer, we've got a lot of men working on this. Why don't you tell me what happened when you went to see Officer Strasser?"

Will began to relate how he had gone to Kevin's with the intention of moving out that night. His voice faltered a little as he began to describe Kevin's abuse, and when he came to the assault, he stopped completely.

"The doctor told me that Officer Strasser sexually assaulted you," the detective said softly. "That your injuries are consistent with an attack and not a consensual encounter."

"Mmm hmm," Will said, looking down at his hands. "Orli and Logan saved my life, Detective Connelly," he whispered. "Please, don't arrest them. Kevin was going to kill me."

"That's what they said at the scene, apparently," Connelly nodded. "We've also got a weapon registered to Strasser at the scene and an incident involving an unauthorized use of force just a few days earlier."

"Are we in trouble?" Will asked him, eyes wide as he finally looked at him.

"Mr. Porter, why did you call Mr. Bloom instead of the police when Strasser attacked you?"

"I...I had his number programmed in my phone. I couldn't tell which numbers I was dialing."

"So you just punched a number and hoped for the best?" the detective asked, raising an eyebrow.

Will knew how ridiculous that sounded, but that's exactly what had happened. "Detective," he says, his voice a little stronger, "Kevin had me pinned to the bed, on my stomach. I managed to get the phone out of my pocket and I hit a number that I hoped was either Logan or Orlando. I didn't have the chance to dial 9-1-1."

"Why didn't your friends call the police when they got to your place?"

"You'll have to ask them," Will frowned, "but if I were to hazard a guess, I'd say the fact that a crazy man had a gun to my head might have distracted them a little."

Connelly cracked a small smile and scribbled in his notebook. "Could be," he said.

"Detective, I know that we're in trouble because a police officer was shot, but Kevin was going to kill me and then himself. I have no doubt that he would have killed Orlando and Logan, too. But Orlando shot him before he could kill me. If he hadn't done it, I know Logan would have."

"You and Mr. Bloom are romantically involved, aren't you?"

Will blinked. "How do..."

"Strasser told us. He said he had you followed and uncovered evidence that you and Mr. Bloom were having an affair."

"So that makes it okay?" Will asked, raising his voice a little. "Kevin can kick my ass and rape me because I'm seeing someone else? He can threaten to kill me and my friends? Or is it just okay because he's a cop?"

His expression now sober, Connelly shook his head when Will stopped talking. "Mr. Porter, it's our job to look at every angle and determine what really happened. Based on witness interviews, I believe that you were the victim of an assault and that your friends saved you before you were killed."

"Then why are you making it sound--"

"Charges are going to be brought against Officer Strasser, Mr. Porter. I'm sure his defense will do anything in his or her power to paint this as a crime of passion in which Strasser is the wronged party. If it goes to trial and you're willing to testify, everything will come out. You have to be prepared for that."

Will looked at him, feeling helpless to do anything but make sure Kevin was locked up.

"There is the chance that Strasser will confess to everything in order to make a deal," Connelly said. "He knows how the system works."

"You think he'll do that?" Will asked hopefully.

"I'll let you know," Connelly smiled. "In the meantime, you take care of healing up, okay?"

"Yes, sir," Will whispered, watching as the man walked out of his room.

A little while later, Detective Connelly called to tell Will that Kevin had indeed made a full confession and there would be no need to go to trial. Letting out a relieved sigh, Will thanked him and asked when he'd be able to see Orlando and Logan.

After this.

Before Will had left New York, he'd emailed his friends to let them know he was heading back to Seattle. Along with the flight information, he'd informed those who knew about the situation with Kevin that he'd be making his move today and had asked them to think good thoughts.

Now, as the plane arrived at its gate, he felt a little foolish. It wasn't as if he was going to war or anything, and he worried that he was being overly dramatic. Still, as the seatbelt sign was turned off and the passengers were given permission to use their cellphones, Will was eager to call Logan and see if he could still make it out there. Will knew that sometimes things came up, and he was prepared for that. Smiling at Orli, Will hit Logan's speed dial number and waited.