Feels Like Starting Over

Last night was great. I can't believe I'd been so nervous beforehand! Kevin's friends were so sweet and warm and I felt so welcome. There were three other couples there, including another Jewish/Catholic combo. (Let me see if I can remember everyone's names... We went to Joel and Sara's house, and were joined by Sid and Nancy (yes, I did crack up but they'd heard it all before and were very good-natured about it) and Dave and Carol.) Kevin and I are going to plan a dinner party once all the moving's been settled, and have all of them over.

The seder itself was actually pretty cool. I told Kevin later that thinking about all the tradition involved kind of got to me because I felt as if I was allowed to be part of something that was so much bigger than myself, and I was really touched. Obviously, the Catholic church is full of tradition, pomp and ceremony, but this felt so different. I can't explain it, and Kev didn't make me try.

All right, be warned that I'm going to get a little sappy. I feel very sappy, anyway.

Before we went to bed, all I could think about was the BIG talk I needed to have with him. Mom and Peter had me second guessing myself and so worried that maybe I was doing the wrong thing, I wanted to make sure Kevin really was okay with everything. Before I could even start talking, though, Kevin told me he loved me, and said that he knew it might seem fast, but he wanted me to know how he felt and that if I needed more time, he'd understand. I really wasn't expecting that, and I think I scared him because I was so quiet. (The last time I felt that emotional was when Peter and I made up after over ten years of estrangement.)

I told Kevin I loved him, too, and then we...well, you can figure that part out. Afterwards, we made the final decision that W and I would move in with him. I don't know what time we finally fell asleep, but I'm not even tired today. I'm so damn happy, I'm taking Sandy and a couple of the other assistants out for lunch today to celebrate. (Apparently, my personal life is fodder for their lunchtime conversation. When Sandy told me, I didn't get mad. I probably should have, but... It's all so funny to me and I have nothing to hide. So, why not take them out? I can give them firsthand accounts of the latest developments. Does that make me weird? Hmm, maybe I can consider them pseudo-groupies. Counting Ynez (though she's an imaginary one - and there IS a difference!), that would make four.)

Kev's off this weekend, so we're going to make the move then. He'll come over after work tonight and tomorrow and help me pack. I don't have very many things, but packing always seems to take longer than I think it will.

He said he loves me. I can't stop smiling.