Feels Like Starting Over

Janice called back. It's up to him to call her after the new year. She was happy to hear from me and asked how I was doing. I froze. Conditioning! But I said fine and asked for a referral for myself.

I have a sinus thing but it's not a cold. No fever. Just sniffles and congestion. Nonetheless, Mom's drowning me in chicken soup. And hot toddies. I keep passing out. Now, I just pour them down the drain before I get alcohol poisoning.

Peter broke up with the boytoy because he was too immature. Pot. Kettle. Black. Kidding. It sounds like they wanted different things from life. The boytoy wanted to go out every night, get drunk, do drugs, be an all around hot little party monster. And Peter's 34. Heh. I should remember that for the next time I talk to him.

Talia called to tell me lawyer man broke the lamp I gave her for a wedding gift and asked for the name of the store where I bought it. Bastard probably did it on purpose because he hates Tiffany lamps. She heard about Lesbian Knock Up 2007 and congratulated me on my impending fatherhood. Then she went into a long, sad discussion about the baby we lost and how he or she would have turned thirteen this year, she and I would probably still be happily married and I wouldn't have felt the need to "become involved in that gay nonsense" since I would have had fatherly responsibilities. I honestly didn't know where to start telling her what was wrong with pretty much everything that she said beginning with the lesbians. She did get the age of the kid right, though. God, me with a teenager? Jesus wept.

Ann and Helene came by. They've decided that Ann will carry the bambino. Good choice. She's prettier, more intelligent, athletic, great sense of humor, no visible deformities and I would actually have sex with her if they wanted to do it that way. Okay, that last part's a lie, but the rest is true. I love Helene, and it's not as if she could pass for the Creature from the Black Lagoon or anything. Ann's just got more of everything. It's kind of like me and Orli. On my own, I'm not bad. But Orli's got more of everything. Anyway, Operation Babymaker looks like it's really going to happen this time. And I've decided not to have anything to do with the offspring other than them sending me pictures so I have proof it didn't turn out looking like an ape. It's not going to be my child and if they want to have a father figure in its life, they can sure as hell do better than me. And if anything happens to this one, too, I don't want to be able to care so much. Mom's ready to play Grandma, though, and scolded me quite handily when I reminded her that it wouldn't really be her grandchild after the papers are all signed. She said, and I quote, "William, I would be a grandmother to that baby if Mickey Mouse was the father. These girls are my friends and have asked me to be involved, and I will be for as long as they need me." Then I made a comment about the set of ears that kid would have if Mickey was the dad, not to mention being born with big, puffy, white glove-clad hands. She kicked me out of the kitchen and finished her tea with the ladies. Ann and Helene were laughing, though. See? Lesbians aren't all granola-crunching, Birkenstock-wearing, "global-warming-is-real"-gabbing, "I-lost-my-sense-of-humor-the-first-time-a -girl-went-down-on-me"-doing, man-hating, feminazis. In fact, I would be willing to bet that most of them are like Ann and Helene. And, as with any group, the extremists get all the press.

Evie called just to say hi. She's so sweet. I mean, even if she wasn't my sister (allegedly - DNA test next month), I would really like her. Get this: she says stuff the way I do. I know it's the other way around and is due to Dad, but every now and then she sounds like me. Is that freaky or what? And kind of cool. From the sounds of things, her brother - our brother - is just like Dad. Poor bastard. But she told me all about her latest casting project and how much trouble they're having finding someone to play the lead. I told her I'd do it as a favor but she had to promise not to want to cast me in everything after that because I just wouldn't have the time and would hate to feel obligated. Then I told her about my engagement, she screamed and congratulated me. I love this girl already.

Wendell and Blade are in love. Er, I mean, they're just "really good friends" who never leave each other's side, snuggle at night and do the same cute little doggie moves that make Mom want to deck them out in horrendous doggie sweaters. Poor babies. If I see them donning spandex and going for bike rides, I'm going to nickname them "Gyllenstrong."

The new year is almost here and the possibilities are endless. Please, God, don't let Orli break up with me.

I really like the new Justin Timberlake and John Mayer albums. Peter bought them for me as get well gifts. I'm partial to the John Mayer because it suits the way I'm feeling and it's nice and mellow. Plus, I think he has a sexy voice. I do have to give Justin some love, though, since "Sexyback" is pretty damn catchy. I'm over my standards phase for now.

Mom rented POTC and we watched it together after the lesbians left. It was cool watching it since, you know, Orli! I couldn't take my eyes off him. Mom teased me a little because I kept talking or getting up when he wasn't on screen, then shushing her when he was. I'm such a dork.

The lesbians have put me back on the list for sperm donors. The guy they'd decided on pulled out at the last minute. Um, I mean, he changed his mind. Not that he literally... So, anyway, I'm on a short list and they've asked me to think about it. Again. I'm leaning towards saying no because no child should be subjected to my genes. I think the talk about grandchildren got Mom even more excited about me doing this even though she's been told I'd have no legal right to the child. No more thinking about this until later. But I'm 99% sure I'll say no.

Peter's taking me to lunch tomorrow. He says he needs to talk to me about something important, but he can't stay over tonight because he has a meeting first thing in the morning. Wendell and Blade will be happy to have more room in the bed, I'm sure.

Oh, I almost forgot. Talia called today. She screamed something about me flaunting my filth so her friends could see it and then hung up on me. She's such a delicate flower. A fucking psychotic maneating Venus flytrap sort of flower.

BT

Sandy called today to see how I was doing. She started crying on the phone and I didn't know what to say. I felt so bad that she was so upset. She's promised to come visit me. Oh, she said that Alex (the man formerly known as "New Boss") was fired for committing lewd acts with his subordinate at the office. She thinks I should contact Big Boss and let him know that it happened to me, too, because he's threatening to sue for discrimination. But I don't want to have anything to do with Seattle ever again. I'm sure he won't win. He screwed around at work. His being fired has nothing to do with his sexuality.

Blade and Wendell are becoming fast friends. Wendell follows Blade everywhere and even tries to imitate the adorable little poses Blade has. It's the funniest thing, and if I didn't see it with my own eyes, I wouldn't believe it. Mom's spoiling the both of them, calls them her grandchildren and ordered them little doggie tee shirts off the internet. They're the closest she'll get to being a grandmother. Even though I know she's fine with it, sometimes I feel bad that Talia and I didn't have kids. Then again, the custody battle would have been brutal and she would have moved to Iceland just for spite to keep my kid away from me.

Mom just came up to tell me breakfast is ready and asked what I'm typing about. I read it to her (just the second paragraph). I won't say what she said, but she did make me blush.

Oh, I've decided to stop thinking about anything or anyone bad. Less chance of making myself nuts. So I'm just letting myself think about all the things and people that make me happy. It's a surprisingly long list.

All right, the plans are all set for our getaway weekend. I'm going to be gone from tomorrow until Tuesday, and I'm planning on spending a lot of quality time with my two favorite boys. Kev and Wendell, if anyone was wondering.

[locked from Kev]

I'll tell him this weekend.

[/locked]

I'm really looking forward to a little rest and relaxation. And I'm not leaving a forwarding number or even taking my cell phone with me. If anyone needs me, too bad.



ooc: I'm going out of town, too - same days :-) I'm off to finish packing, now, but I'll answer everything when I get home! *hugs to all*

I'm back. At work, anyway. I've been back home since late Sunday night, and I spent all day Monday snuggling with Kev and reassuring Wendell that I hadn't really abandoned him.

Before I say anything else, I have to thank everyone who took the time to meet me in New York. I had an amazing time! You guys are awesome.

And moving on...

I hate my job. I don't mean to be so negative, but maybe it was the time away that brought it home how unhappy I am here. I love the people I work with, especially Sandy, but I don't feel fulfilled. I know, I'm no different than the majority of people out there who hate their jobs, but... I want to actually do something about it. I've been doing this gig for years, and the only reason I'm even in this game is because I followed my father's plan for my life instead of my own.

But it's not as if I can quit my job and be a bum, and I'm not interested in going from one office job to another. I suppose I'm just feeling a little restless because I had such a good time on my vacation, and now that I'm back I just want to spend all my time with Kevin instead of paperwork. Well, that doesn't even make any sense since he has to go to work during the day, too. Oh, speaking of, we find out tomorrow if he got the job or not. He said the interview went really well, so I'm crossing my fingers that he can get what he wants.

In the meantime, I'll put my nose to the grindstone and get through everything I missed when I was gone. Apparently New Boss has been doing really well and I'm getting the credit for showing him the ropes so well. Color me really confused now. At first I thought he was an idiot who didn't deserve the position, then I thought he was just tricking me to see what I would or could do for him, and now he's making me look good and letting me have the credit for something I didn't really do. I can't figure him out. He wants to take me to lunch today so maybe I'll get a bead on him then. I hope so, anyway. It's all very odd. Sandy said he interrogated her about my personal life when I was gone, so I'm a little nervous. I'll try to report back when we return.

That is how I spent my weekend. I was abducted Friday night and spent all of Saturday and this morning tied up and held down in a strange room.

Luckily, it was all Kevin's idea and now I wish we had more time to play.

Friday night's event went wonderfully. It was a fundraiser for... Damn it. I can't remember. But I'm sure it was a very worthy cause. Kevin looked amazing in his tux, I didn't look too bad in mine, and we spent the evening charming everyone. Actually, Kevin charmed everyone he was introduced to and I stood back and kept falling in love with him. Tough job, but someone has to do it. The best part? No one blinked an eye at the fact that I took him as my date. I don't know what I expected, but it was as if I'd taken Talia. He got to play the part of the wife for the evening and I was the proud husband showing off his arm candy. I know that sounds silly and sexist, but

Okay, Kevin's reading over my shoulder and he said he liked being a sex object for the evening. So there you are.

There were no scenes, no one made a spectacle of themselves and I ended the evening feeling a lot better about losing my promotion.

After the party, my lovely beau took me upstairs to a suite he'd reserved at the hotel. He said it was in case we got so tanked neither of us could drive home. Plus, he wanted to cheer me up because he's the sweetest man who's ever lived. I challenge anyone to argue that point with me because I know they will lose. After he assured me that Wendell was safely being looked after by our neighbor, I let him abduct me. I'll keep the rest of the details to myself (which I'm sure you're all relieved to hear) and just say that even if he and I can't get away from the city to get a little downtime, a luxury hotel suite will work just as well.

God, I love him! I love my job. I love my life. No matter what happens, I know everything's going to be okay.

I wasn't sure that I'd get in my daily entry since Kev and I have been going since this morning. We have most of my things packed up and we'll make the actual move tomorrow. I can't believe it's alrady almost done! My neighbor (Wendell's babysitter) came over to help with some of the stuff, and she invited us over for dinner at her place. I was just going to order Kev and myself a pizza, but Linda's homemade lasagna and garlic bread was much better. I'm going to miss her.

Tonight, we're going to camp out in the living room since we took apart the bed to save time tomorrow. Should be fun! Kev's laughing at me because I'm lying on my stomach, typing away on my laptop, and Wendell keeps running back and forth over my ass. What's funny is, when I stop typing, he stops running. I have a very strange dog.

Now, Kevin has decided to sit on me. I feel like I'm giving a play by play of my evening. Now, he's kissing the back of my head and says he wants to type something.

This is Kevin Strasser. I hereby stake my claim on William Porter, and if anyone else decides they want to take a shot at him (literally or figuratively), they'll have to deal with me. You've been warned. Actually, I don't think any of you exist. I think Will's made you all up in his mind because he's obviously a mental case who needs imaginary friends in order to make his life complete. He's mentioned a few of you, but how convenient that none of you are in Seattle. It's okay. I can accept the fact that I'm going to be living with a lunatic. Love means never having to point out your lover's psychosis, right? I'm just worried that when he goes on his vacation, he'll be very disappointed that no one's actually there for him to visit. It's all right. I'll have the straitjacket waiting for him when he gets home. Talk to you later.

Will here. I get up to go to the bathroom and I come back to this! I'm leaving that up as evidence that I'm dating a fool! For the record, he's joking. I talk about all of you guys, and he'd love the chance to meet some of you one of these days. He's set up a journal, but he's too shy to use it.

All right, time for me to get back to my fool. I'll try to check in tomorrow!

Kev had to work today. He's got a really annoying schedule, but at least he's not on a night shift. He's going to come over tonight after work, and we'll order in some Thai food and watch the Sunday night line up on Fox (Family Guy!).

Wendell seems to like walking in the rain, so I'm going to take him out again in a little while. I'm feeling well enough to not worry about a relapse, and I love being outside in the rain, too.

BTW, Kev loved his cufflinks, and dinner couldn't have gone better. I should call Peter and Mom when I get back from W's walk. It's time they knew.

I know I only worked three days this week, but I have to say I'm ready for the weekend. I'm at the tail end of this thing where you feel okay but not necessarily good. I figure a nice relaxing weekend should do it.

Kevin and I are going to dinner, tonight, to celebrate a month together. I'm taking him to this sweet, small, romantic Italian restaurant Sandy recommended. Her new beau took her there and she raved. I haven't been, but I trust her tastes because she's good about knowing mine. I'll wear the tie clip he gave me and I bought him a pair of platinum cufflinks. I don't personally know too many men who still use cufflinks, but he does, and I love that.

On a completely different topic... Katie Couric is taking over the CBS Evening News? I love the idea of a solo female anchor on a weeknight evening news program and I'd like her to do well. But the evening news isn't morning television. I'll save my judgments until I actually watch her.

Wendell's in here with me, today, but next week I'll have to leave him with the neighbor so he can start to get used to not seeing me during the day. Actually, it's more for me. Though... No one minds him being here, and he gets regular walks and lots of attention from folks. He's already pretty spoiled and it's only day three. Maybe I'll make him one of those dogs that goes everywhere with its owner. He's so damn cute. I never got to take Lani and Jake everywhere with me but that was because they were too big, plus, they had a backyard to play in when Talia and I were at work. Lani was too big, anyway. He's a german shepherd and collie mix. Jake's a Jack Russell. I did take them with me when I ran errands, though... Fuck it. Wendell's my dog, and until I'm told I can't bring him in, I'll do it. Though he will be left with the neighbor when Kev and I go out tonight.

I am not in the mood to work. I want to kidnap Kev from work, grab W and drive out to Snoqualmie.

Jeez, I almost forgot. Fillmore said it shouldn't be a problem for me to take a vacation next month. I'm thinking second week in May (6th to 14th).

Okay, W's giving me that look. I'm going to go walk him.

I managed to drag my ass into work today. I'm feeling a lot better, actually. I think I just had a bug that hit me a little hard and is at the end of its run. Sandy says I don't look that sick and she's suspcious about my days off coinciding with Kevin's, but then she got distracted by Wendell's cuteness.

Everyone loves him, and it turns out that Fillmore has a Yorkshire bitch, so he doesn't mind W being here just as long as there are no accidents. I wonder if he'll want to set Wendell up with his dog...

Right now, Sandy has W's little dog bed set up by her desk. I guess she's adopting him for the day. He doesn't seem to be nervous or clingy, so I think that's good. I, however, keep looking to make sure he's okay. He's within eyeshot, though, so that's fine.

I just received word that there's going to be a fundraising dinner on April 28th, and I'm strongly urged to attend. I can take a date. I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that Kevin and I will still be together, so I'll take him. I bet he'll look gorgeous in a tux.