Three months!

[locked]

And my baby's with me!

I can't believe it hasn't been all that long since we first hooked up, but on the other hand, I feel so comfortable and loved by him, time doesn't seem to have any meaning. Time really is relative, isn't it? I've always had this feeling that I'm not going to live a very long life no matter how much I would like to. I don't know why that is, but I just want to do everything now before it's too late. Or maybe that fear is just some adolescent holdover and I've mistaken it for a genuine concern. The truth could be that I didn't really start living my life until last year. I've got so much to make up for, and I don't want to make any of the mistakes I did before. I stayed married to Talia for 12 years when I should have been living my own life. My real life. After seven years we should have divorced, but I held on out of habit more than anything. I didn't want to be alone, so I let myself stay in what had basically deteriorated to a loveless marriage. On my end, anyway. I think Talia still loved me in her way. I never let on, I performed all my husbandly duties, and I couldn't admit to myself just how miserable I was. Then Peter came back into my life and the rest is history.

New Year's day is going to be four months. One third of one year. By my birthday, it'll be six months. Or...

I don't want to wait. I know I should, but I don't want to. Of course, it's all going to depend on Orli.

Life's so short. I'm never going to have enough time with him. I just want him to know how serious I am about this.

Muse playground: Turning point

February 2005

Will's mom had called him when she received the news of Kory's death. Even though Peter and Will had stopped speaking ever since their falling out during sophomore year, Inez Porter had kept in touch with her son's best friend. She felt as if she'd practically raised him and was grateful that Will didn't resent the contact she maintained. Although she was careful to be vague when it came to sharing news of how Peter was doing in his life, when Peter called to tell her about the accident, she knew that her son would want to know.

Now, as Will walked into the church for the service, he wondered what he was doing there. It had been over a decade since he had seen Peter face to face, and he wasn't quite sure what he would feel seeing him again under these circumstances. Peter and Kory had been together for seven years. According to Inez, Peter had worshipped the ground Kory walked on and the two of them were married in the eyes of everyone who knew them. Will couldn't help wondering if he should have made an effort to make up with Peter. At least then he would have known the deceased and wouldn't feel so awkward about showing up at his funeral. He immediately felt guilty for the selfish thought. The last thing that mattered right then was his own comfort. He was there to pay his respects.

Will spotted Peter standing by the casket and had to stop for a moment. The last time he'd seen him, they'd both been baby-faced teens. He knew that time would have changed them both, but to actually see his friend looking so mature made him realize just how long he'd allowed the separation to last. There was so much he wanted to make up for, but there would be time later for such things. For now, he would take a seat and wait to approach Peter after the service. Before Will could slip into one of the pews, though, Peter looked over and caught his eye. There was a mixture of disbelief and gratitude in his expression, and it made Will's heart ache to see it. He had missed him so much.

The two of them walked towards one another, meeting in the middle of the aisle. Will stood awkwardly, not sure what to say or do, until Peter wrapped his arms around him and hugged him tightly.

"Will... Thank you for coming," he whispered. "I... God, I'm glad you're here."

Returning the hug was the most natural thing in the world to do, and Will closed his eyes as everything he and Peter had been through together came rushing back in a flood of memories.

"I'm so sorry, Pete," Will said, his eyes starting to burn as tears threatened. He wasn't just giving his condolences for Kory. He was apologizing for being such a stupid, stubborn fool. He was apologizing for letting his own denial come between him and the man who had never asked for anything from him yet had always been there to give whatever was needed.

Peter nodded as he released him and took Will's hand, holding onto it tightly. "Your mom told me you might come but I didn't want to hope..."

Will squeezed Peter's hand. There was so much he wanted to say and to ask, but this wasn't the time or the place for catching up with a dear friend. He nodded towards the front pew as more people began to enter the church.

"Let me sit with you," Will said softly, "and then maybe later, if you want, we can..."

"Okay," Peter said, not caring what Will was about to suggest.

Will gave him a little smile, then, still gripping his hand, walked with him to take their seats.

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