Feels Like Starting Over

Sorry for my abruptness, last night.

Fillmore never showed up for work, yesterday, we called him and it turned out he'd decided to take off for a few days. I tell you, the man's losing it. I had to take over his workload and his schedule, which included some meetings I was less than prepared for. I don't know what the man's been doing, but I'm not privy to it and I don't appreciate being blindsided. I managed to bluff my way through and, with Sandy's help, I got myself up to speed last night, so I'm ready for today.

It wasn't just that. If it had just been that, it would have been fine. I get paid to deal. In the middle of the chaos, Talia called and said that she was going to put Lani and Jake down because her new boyfriend didn't want them. Lani and Jake are my dogs. She wouldn't let me bring them out to Seattle. And now she wants to destroy them. I don't even know where to start.

I called Peter and he said he'd fix everything. I'm waiting for him to call me.

I heard a story on the news this morning about some asshole (I can't remember where) who went to a strip club and left his three year old son in his unlocked car. The father reportedly told the boy that monsters would eat him if he left the vehicle. After about half an hour, the little boy wandered into the strip club, looking for his father. The father was promptly arrested.

I have my reasons for not wanting kids. I don't trust myself to raise them right or be a good example for them. I'm not entirely sure how to be a good father, and I'd hate to end up being the kind of man my own father was. That being said, I married Talia because she was pregnant and I wanted to do the right thing. She lost the baby, but if I had become a father, I still think I would have been better than that idiot.

She calls me and tells me that she's been seeing her divorce attorney. Seeing as in fucking, I presume. Not only is she dating the piece of shit who raked me over the coals, but he's informed her that she can actually seek more alimony from me.

The kicker?

They're moving in together and deliberately NOT getting married just so I can't get a break. According to her, I'm being punished for humilating her and putting her through a living hell with my salacious affair. Never mind that our marriage was basically a sham by the time Peter and I got together. Never mind the fact that she treated me with the kind of contempt you save for someone you'd sooner see dead in the road. And that was before she found out about us.

She wants to suck me dry until I'm living a pathetic, miserable existence.

Thing is, I don't want to hate her. I really don't. But she's not leaving me much choice.

I need to talk to Peter.