porter_inc | Entries tagged with mom

I don't know what the hell I was thinking. I broke down and told Mom about the woman who wrote me claiming to be the product of Tobias's first marriage. I showed her the letter, then she went into her room and hasn't come out since. The door's locked and when I knock on it, she just tells me she needs a moment alone.

I called Ann and Helene to come over, but they were both busy. I was going to call some of her other friends, but I don't know if they know about Dad's first marriage. So, I called Pete. He's on his way.

Update: She let Pete in there to talk to her, but he locked the door behind him. At least I know she'll be okay if he's in there with her, but what kind of damage have I done?

Current Mood: worried

This is mainly going to be me listing out random things and commenting on them. Feel free to skip over it all because, like most of my ramblings, it's not really all that interesting. I just have to get it all out of my head so I can get some sleep.

1. Okay, I want to make this clear: Orlando and I are not living together. I'm living at home in Hartford. Orli's living in his home in New York. We basically commute to see one another, and I think the longest I've ever stayed over is a long weekend. I spend a lot of my time trying to keep myself busy during the week because I miss him a lot, but there is no cohabitation going on. He's still technically married. No, I don't see it as hypocritical that we're in love and having sex. Making the decision to live together is a completely different thing.

2. Orli told me the divorce will probably be final before Christmas. I'm sorry for the way things had to happen. I know how hard divorce is on both parties. The thing that breaks my heart the most is knowing he's lost his friend. Still, I believe in miracles. Talia no longer wants to stab my eyes out when she sees me, and what I did to her was a hell of a lot worse than what happened with Orli. Maybe after Cordy spends a ton more money, she'll come around. Is that bitchy of me to say? Ah, I'll let it stand. I'm tired.

3. Mom's birthday is tomorrow. I'm going to surprise her by making breakfast for her, then I'll be taking her out for a day in the city. The highlight of the day will be taking her to see The Nutcracker. She seems to think that the car was going to take care of her birthday, Christmas and Mother's Day presents for the rest of her life. Um, no.

4. Ann and Helene have worked out their problems and are finally ready to get pregnant. They asked me, again, to consider being the donor. I just don't know... Things are so much more complicated now than they were the first time they asked me.

5. I got a letter from a woman today who claims to be my sister. I didn't show it to Mom because she doesn't really like to talk too much about Dad's other family. Well, she doesn't really know that much about it. Or so she says. Anyway, I'm taking it with a grain of salt. I've also gotten marriage proposals (from men and women), naked pictures, recipes(!), nice letters, and a few religious tracts.

6. Peter's seeing someone. It's really, really, really weird. I'm happy for him, but I can't believe he's actually seeing someone who's not me. That's a lot more egotistical than I mean for it to sound. After Kory died, I was the only one Peter wanted to be with and he swore that he couldn't ever be happy with anyone else. I told him that wasn't true but he was so sure that he could never meet anyone he'd want. And now he has. I think it's great! But weird. I just hope it helps him ease up on me.

7. I got a postcard from Talia! She and lawyer man are honeymooning in Jamaica. It looks gorgeous and she sounds really happy. I'm glad she got the chance to have a real honeymoon with a real husband. I know he'll treat her well.

8. Jesus, I'm freezing. I really don't want to put on the flannel pajamas but I might have to. If my sweetie was here we could do that naked body heat thing.

9. Someone please explain why Paris Hilton is famous. And why Britney Spears thinks it's a good idea to be her new BFF.

10. Cocoa makes me happy.

I feel like I'm about to write a report for the third grade, but before the day gets too hectic, I wanted to sit down and think about everything for which I am grateful. I think I'm like most people in that I don't really "celebrate" the first Thanksgiving (there's just way too much baggage attached to the history of it), but, rather, I take this day to reflect on the blessings in my life. I really am thankful for everything every single day that I wake up, but I don't think I express it enough. So, here I am, being official.

First and foremost, I am thankful and grateful for the man I love. Ever since Orlando entered my life, I've felt incredibly blessed and happier than I ever thought possible. He's made me discover a part of myself that I never thought existed. In past relationships, I've recognized the selfishness inside me that never really allowed me to put anyone else completely ahead of myself. In fact, I'm still that way to a certain extent with my friends. But Orlando is the first person I can honestly say I would do absolutely anything for without hesitation. Because of him I finally understand what it really means to love someone selflessly and to be loved in return. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I hope that this is the first of many, many Thanksgivings that we will spend together.

I'm thankful that my mom is healthy and still as vibrant as I ever remember her being. She's so happy, so supportive and such a source of strength for me when I need her. The two of us have been through a lot together and I don't know what I'd do without her in my corner. If I had become a father, I would have wanted to be the kind of parent to my child that Mom is to me. She's very special and I don't feel I let her know nearly enough. I'm also grateful that she adores Orli (she tells her friends that he's an ideal son-in-law) and is so accepting of my life. I know how very, very lucky I am that she doesn't share the views my father had of me. ~~Speaking of, I'm still thankful the bastard's dead. I bet the turkey in Hell is really dry.~~

I'm grateful for Peter. He's been my best friend for 22 years - though we were estranged for over a decade when I married Talia. But the day I went to him after all that time, he took me back as if no time had passed. He helped me to come out, he was there for me when I was at my lowest point, and I can never forget that. I know that he thinks I don't have room for him in my life, anymore, but that's only his perception because, for the first time ever, there is another man who's first in my heart. I will always need Pete in my life and I hope he can realize that one day.

I am very thankful for all of my friends. I do have to single out Logan for his unwavering support during my confrontation with Kevin because that was literally a life or death situation. If not for him and Orli, I would be dead and unable to be babbling right now, so... Yeah. Wes, Snake, Iris, Mac, Ray, Ynez... I really want to list out absolutely everyone, but I'll accidentally leave off someone's name and feelings would get hurt, so I'll just say that you know if you're my friend. And if you are my friend, I would like to get mushy for a second and say thank you for everything you have given me. Thank you for the humor, the conversation, the support and the understanding. I love you guys.

I'm thankful for my health, my wealth and the life I have. I'm grateful for all of the opportunities I have, the ones I'll make, and the fact that I can look around every day and appreciate what I do have instead of lamenting what I don't.

Oh, and I'm still really grateful that I don't have to pay alimony anymore.

Happy Thanksgiving to those of you who celebrate. For those of you who don't, Happy Thursday. Much love.

I probably shouldn't be giggling at infomercials for penis pumps. I mean, erectile dysfunction is a serious problem for a lot of men! Um, not that it's ever happened to me, of course. *coughs* Well, there was that one time when Talia was yelling at me because I accidentally broke a jar of honey powder all over the bathroom floor and ruined our evening.

Speaking of the lovely ex... She came over tonight. She's getting cold feet and actually told me she still loves me and asked if I wanted to get back together for one last roll in the hay. To be fair, she was drunk, so I undressed her, put her to bed and told her I'd get back to her in the morning. She's sleeping it off in the guest room as I type this. I won't say anything to her about it once she sobers up. I think it's just a bad case of nerves because I know she hasn't loved me for a very long time. I called lawyer man to tell him that she was okay, but he didn't sound all that concerned and invited me to his bachelor party tomorrow. I passed. Watching him get a lap dance from a stripper just isn't on my list of things to do.

I can't believe that parents are complaining that a new kids' book about two male penguins adopting a baby penguin and raising it together has "gay overtones." They want it placed in the restricted section of school libraries for "mature issues." I remember that news story about the penguins at the New York Zoo who did that and I thought it was adorable. I just thought of something. Remember that show "My Two Dads"? The premise was that the kid's mom had sex with two guys around the same time and either didn't know or didn't want to say who the father was, so both men had to raise the kid after the mom died or ran away or whatever the hell it was. I don't remember people getting upset about some child not knowing who her dad was because her mom was a slut. But if those two dads were a loving gay couple raising a kid they wanted, it never would have made it on the air.

Oh my god, and now they're talking about possible womb transplants in women and maybe a day when wombs can be implanted in MEN. Yup, pregnant men could be in the future. I would never trust a man to carry a baby. You just know that during some joyous moment of celebration during a sporting event, two pregnant guys would do that chest and stomach bumping thing. The thought of medical science ever doing something like that before they find a cure for cancer makes me shudder. Plus, it's just too Dr. Frankenstein for me. Just because it could be done, doesn't mean it should be done.

I almost forgot... Mom helped me look through a couple of boxes today for something I need and she found the tape Kevin and I made. I'm thankful that it was labeled so there wasn't the possibility of her putting it in the machine to see what it was and seeing her son's... Well, you know. But the fact that the label said "Kev and Will's homemade porn" was enough to make me want to crawl under the sofa and never come out. I'd completely forgotten about it. She laughed but I could tell she was a little embarrassed, and she even scolded me for being stupid enough to put that stuff on tape. It's okay, though. I'm pretty sure I have the only copy. I'm not making any more sex tapes. Unless I keep them under lock and key in a safe in a box in Fort Knox so Mom can't find them.

Talia's wedding is next Saturday. I've got my suit ready, I've got the lamp for their gift, and I went ahead and bought a silver punch bowl set that was on their gift registry since the lamp is mainly for Talia. I guess the bowl will be mainly for her, too, but the wedding gifts we got were all pretty much for her, anyway. Man, guys really get ripped off on their wedding days, don't they?

I can't believe she's getting married! My glee has shifted from being about the financial break I'll get to being about feeling genuine happiness for her. She's so much sweeter now that she's not wishing for my painful death and destruction. I was talking to her today about seeing some of the friends I lost in the divorce. I understood them siding with Talia, but they were very vocal in their dislike of me after I left her - actively vocal as in calling me at Peter's and barraging me with insults and curses for hurting their friend. (I think that's why I'm so touchy about the way Orli's treated during this whole thing with Cordelia. Being the guilty party shouldn't automatically make you the target of outsiders. What I did to Talia was probably more intimate than anything that had happened before in our marriage. It was the first time she'd ever thought she couldn't trust me. It was our business to scream at each other and no one else had a right to chastise me. I never made any vows to them. Opinions are like assholes, I know, everyone has one. But, for something this personal, they should also be kept under wraps unless you're with someone with whom it's appropriate to share them. *g*) Anyway, I have a feeling I'll be holding onto Orli's hand for dear life if they approach me to talk. The first dirty look they cast my way, though, my tongue's going in Orlando's mouth so I don't say anything to start a fight.

Mom's birthday is on the 29th. She's going to be 56! Oops, she might kill me for revealing her age, so it's a good thing she doesn't have the first clue about my journal. Anyway, I'm torn between taking her out for an expensive dinner with me, Orli and Pete (and whatever pretty boy he decides to bring along. I think he's dating, but he won't tell me one way or the other) or throwing a party so her friends can come. I'm not sure if I could handle being around all those older ladies pinching my cheeks and sending me hurtling back to age five. I'll talk to the lesbians. Maybe they can help me organize an all girls birthday party for Mom and I can still take her out to dinner. I guess we could invite Mom's male friend (she stopped seeing that guy in Seattle). I have not met this guy, but if he kisses my mom in front of me, I'll punch him. I had thought about doing something during Thanksgiving, but I hate doing the combo holiday/birthday thing just because the dates are close. Pete's birthday is coming up on December 12. I get to tease him about being older than me for three months!!!! I love that. I asked him what he wants for his birthday but since I won't "make love on the white sands of a Jamaican beach" with him, I'm going to enroll him in the fruit of the month club. I know it sounds cheesy, but he's a healthy guy, he likes that kind of thing and every month he'll think of me when he gets a bunch of fruit delivered to his door. Plus, I'm really uncomfortable with giving him anything close to what I've given him in the past. Way too intimate.

Oh, and for my awesome news...

I've got a job. A magazine liked my writing sample and they're interested in the idea of Orli and me doing a series of articles for them. I didn't mention Orli by name because I wanted to be hired on my own merits, but they like the whole "gay couple travels the world and reports back" thing. They're just starting out, they're small, and we'll basically be doing this freelance, getting paid by the article. But it's not the money that ever concerned me. It's doing something. And now I get to do it with my partner. How cool is that???

Current Mood: ecstatic

[For

orlandomuse]

Inez sighs and takes a sip of her coffee. She can't believe what she's reading. She may have banished all the trashy papers and magazines she could from her home on Will's behalf, but that doesn't mean she won't read something if Peter points her towards it. Sometimes her friends mention things to her, too. They'd seen Will grow up and are appalled by the things being said both about him and his new...

She frowns. Orlando is a lovely young man, she can't deny. It's just difficult for her to accept him the way Will wants her to, even if it isn't really his fault. After Talia and after Kevin, Inez is feeling particularly protective of her son. Add to it the solemn circumstances surrounding Orlando's previous relationship and Inez feels justified in her stance. She knows Will is upset with her about it, but that's part of being a mother; making sacrifices and risking your children disliking you or your decisions. He'll come around. Or, if she's wrong, she'll be very willing to admit it.

"Morning, Mom." Will smiles as he walks over to the coffee maker to pour himself a cup.

Inez quickly closes the magazine and gets up to throw it away. "Morning, baby," she says, giving her son a kiss on the cheek on her way to the garbage can. "How'd you sleep?"

"It's almost eleven," Will grins at her. "I'd say I slept late."

"Uh huh, smarty," Inez laughs. "But did you sleep well? I know you've been having a hard time."

Will nods. "It was okay. But lately I can't really sleep unless Orli's next to me."

Inez clears her throat and returns to her seat at the kitchen table. "Sweetheart, I'm sure half a Tylenol PM will be just as effective."

"Sorry, Ma, but I need stronger stuff than that." Will's smiling, but when he sees the concerned expression on Inez's face, he sobers a little. "What's wrong?"

"Baby, I'm sorry," she says softly. "I know I told you that I understand, but... I don't. I wish you weren't moving so quickly with him."

"Mom..."

"Honey, you have to understand where I'm coming from," she says before he can start arguing with her. "What if he's only with you because he's sad? Or he's lonely?" She winces, waiting for Will's angry rebuttal. When nothing happens, she looks at him, curious as to why he's suddenly smiling so sweetly.

"Mom, I know that you worry, and I'm sorry for getting onto you about this before." He walks over to her and bends down to give her a hug.

"You're not mad?"

"I'm not mad."

"How come?"

"Do you want me to be mad?"

"No..."

Will smiles. "I know he loves me, Mom. I was mad before because I let myself believe what you and Pete were saying to me. I couldn't admit I was insecure before but now I know differently." His smile widens. "He really loves me."

"Baby..."

"Tell you what," he whispers into her ear, hugging her around her shoulders, "why don't you ask him."

Inez looks up at him. "What?"

"You're worried, right? Call him and ask him what his intentions are."

"I..." Inez stops. She'd been about to say that she can't do that, but why can't she? Her son's right. Why shouldn't she voice her concerns? She's the mother, damn it! "Okay," she says with a firm nod. "I will."

"Just remember that you like him, okay?" Will laughs and goes to get the phone for her. "He's still the same man you dote on when he comes up here."

"Oh, that reminds me," she says. "I should find out how he's doing, too. I've been meaning to check on him, you know."

Will chuckles and dials Orlando's number before handing her the phone. "I love you, Mom," he says, kissing her on the cheek.

"I love you, baby," Inez smiles, putting the phone to her ear. "Now, go away. I want some privacy."

Giving her a mock salute, Will grabs his cup of coffee and heads out of the kitchen. He's not worried at all.

Jon Stewart is so cute! Just a random note because I'm watching the Daily Show and I think he's adorable. And, you know, Stephen Colbert cracks me up and is kind of sexy... Sure, maybe I need to get my news from a source other than Comedy Central, but there aren't any other anchors who're that kind of eye candy.

Ann came over for a visit today without Helene. We had tea and chatted about a few things that are on her mind. Luckily, she left before I grew breasts and my dick dropped off. Actually, she's having some trouble with H and I feel bad for her. I promised not to say anything to anyone (and it doesn't matter that anyone who'd see this doesn't know them) so I won't go into detail here, but after ten years together, maybe A needs to have fewer expectations. Not that I'm taking H's side or anything, but really, doesn't there come a point in a relationship when you have to accept the bad about someone as well as the good not only because you love them but because you'd like them to do the same for you? Sometimes it seems as if people think they're perfect and rush to pick out faults in others without looking at the faults within themselves. Hmm, I wonder if I should list out my faults and give them to Orli, just to give him a heads up.

Mom bought Blade and Wendell some sweaters (for Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and a generic winter one). They are so cute, but I'm really worried that she's going to have a hard time when I move out and take them with me. And I don't think I can take Jake and Lani from Pete. I went to visit them this morning and they were so happy to see me. But I can tell that they're very attached to Peter, and vice versa. I'm so sad. But so grateful to him for taking care of them. But they're my babies. Or they were... I guess I don't need four dogs, right? And I couldn't move with all four of my babies. Okay, there's time to think about this.

I got a letter from Kevin. I threw it out.

Mom was on a mission today. I saw her walking through the house with a big black garbage bag and when I asked her what she was doing, she said that she was ridding the house of evil. In case you were wondering, the evil was magazines, tabloids and newspapers. She refuses to let Peter bring over any more, and if they show up, she refuses to let me see them. She's been worried that I keep taking so many things to heart and wants me to be blissfully ignorant. I guess from this moment on I can act as if there's no such thing as nasty gossip and innuendo. I really can't argue with her point that it stresses me out. Plus, I know that assholes will always exist and whatever I feel about them doesn't really matter. All that matters to me is being with Orli, helping him through all of this and seeing what each new day has in store for us. That's all that should have ever mattered and I hate that I wasted so much energy worrying about anything else. It would have helped if I didn't have to defend us to my mom and my best friend. That's the thing that's been getting to me the most, to be honest. What I read only echoed what I know they were thinking. That's a big reason for why I want to move out and get my own place.

Speaking of which, I asked Mom what she'll do when I move out and don't have her to censor my reading material for me. She started asking me why I wanted to move out, etc. I basically told her that I need a place of my own now and I wouldn't be too far away. I couldn't come right out and say that I'd want total privacy when Orlando visits, but I'm pretty sure she got it. I haven't mentioned this to anyone, but I'm thinking of asking Talia if I can buy our old house from her. She and lawyer man are going to get their own house, and since I love the neighborhood and I could get my other boys back, it would work out. I still have to meet with Talia and see what she says, but I'm hopeful.

I forgot to say how my soufflé turned out! According to the lesbians (btw, they do have names: Ann and Helene), it was very good for a first time and if I practice, I'll be great. Oh! I'm going to learn to make Yorkshire pudding, too. I want to be able to do it the next time Orli comes over and A&H are going to help me plan a menu. They really are turning out to be the sisters I wish I had growing up. They're both older than I am (35 and 36), so they're starting to see me as a little brother, too. At least that's how they're starting to treat me, which is kind of funny considering they wanted me to father their kid. What's weird is if they get back on the baby train, I would feel more comfortable saying yes. 'Course, it's easy for me to say since I know they're not ready right now.

Sandy (who really needs to come visit) called me with some news. I won't go into details but a Seattle news station is going to interview Kevin in prison. I'm livid. I want to sue and I want to get a gag order or something but I don't know if I can. Then again, I want to stick by my resolution to ignore all the shit and concentrate on the good stuff. And there's so much more good than bad in this whole thing. So much more.

Okay. I'm officially letting it go. What the hell can he say, anyway? He's as bad as the rest of them (worse, actually), and not worth my time or energy.

I think I need to go meditate. Or drink. Or make a call.

Current Mood: thoughtful

Talia's getting married the same day as Tomkat. November 18th. I don't know why I find that so funny.

I still have to buy her a present.

And, hold onto your hats, but she wants to have lunch with me on Monday. When I called to RSVP for Orlando and myself, she was very friendly and said that we needed to talk. Thus, lunch. Monday.

I was married to this woman for 12 years, but I'm scared shitless to meet her one on one. At least at the wedding I'll have Orli by my side and witnesses if she tries to drown me in the punch bowl. Wait, there wouldn't be a punch bowl. She'd try to drown me in the chocolate fountain. We don't do well when we meet for things. It usually ends in yelling and her telling me how disgusting I am. But, hey, people change.

Anyway, it should be interesting.

Oh god, I almost forgot the biggest thing:

Egg Girl belongs to the people down the street! I used to be friends with the family who lived there before they sold the house to Egg Girl's parents. Mom said they've never been that social and that she didn't even know they had a child. According to Mom's sources, the girl had been sent away to school so I have no clue what she was doing back here. The parents came by and apologized to me for what she did and thanked me for not having her arrested. It was really weird. Nice, but... Odd. And Becky did not participate in the apology. I was kind of hoping I'd get to toss a rotten tomato at her or something. Anyway, that's her name. Rebecca Beckham. I wanted to get the proper spelling for the restraining order when she decides she wants to stalk Orli and squeal in his general direction.

This life, she is very strange, no?

Current Mood: weird

There was some sweetness, some excitement and some oddness today.

I swear to god, Wendell told my mom he loves her. This little growly howl came out during dinner and it sounded like "Ri rove rou." Weird. It would make sense, though. She's been spoiling both boys absolutely rotten. Blade may very well serenade her tomorrow.

Mom's car arrived. It's a 2007 Toyota Camry because that's what she said she wanted when I was interrogating her (sneakily) to try and figure out what to buy. She loves it. After she scolded me for "wasting" my money, she took me for a spin to visit some of her friends. I had no idea that women in their 50s could get so excited over a new car. I still have lip prints on my face and one of them pinched my bottom. Saucy. I could totally have a Mrs. Robinson thing going on with her. If I weren't completely gay and involved with someone, of course.

I got an invitation to Talia's wedding in the mail. At first I thought it was a mistake, but there was a handwritten note in there from her. I won't share what it said, but my mouth is still hanging open in shock. It's got to be a trick. I've got spies on the case as we speak. Hopefully I'll find out what's going on. There's no way she can go from hating me to forgiving me in the course of a few weeks. I'm even more suspicious because she said she hopes I'll bring Orlando as my guest.

After much thought, I'm going to finally buy a car for myself. Dark blue Lexus convertible. Part of me thinks, "Oy, go for a classic!" (thanks, Ray) but the other, bigger part thinks, "Boy, you've earned this."

( Car pictures! )

In other news, the lesbians are coming over tomorrow to teach me how to make a soufflé. They're postponing the baby thing again because of LD (Lesbian Drama(tm)), so in the meantime, I'm actually finding out that they're very sweet and a lot of fun. They popped over today to bring banana bread and tequila (something about a bet with Mom), and we all got to talking. Here's the good part: They told Mom they moved in together after dating for a week. This is the same woman who won't accept my being with Orli until we've been dating for at least three months. This is the same woman who constantly puts the lesbians up as a wonderful example of domestic bliss and commitment. So, what did I do when I saw the look of shock on her face? I laughed and laughed. Then, after a shot of tequila, I laughed and laughed some more.

I'm an evil son.

Current Mood: chipper

[ooc: While Will does have call waiting, this is locked to

orlandomuse, thanks! :-D]

Will closes his left eye and stares at the television. Nope, his queer eye is still finding the Fab Five to be extremely annoying at the moment. He knows it's not their fault, though. Everything has been annoying him, lately. He and Peter have made up, so that's something good, but Peter's also started calling him whenever he sees or reads something he finds amusing. Will just doesn't have the heart to tell him to cut out that crap.

Sighing, he starts flipping channels. Seen it. Seen it. Hate it. Own it. The remote's tossed aside when he lands on "Mythbusters," and he looks at the TV, daring it to entertain him.

"Baby, I'm going out for about an hour, okay?" his mom says, peeking into the living room.

"Okay," Will says, nodding.

"Don't keep moping. Why don't you call Peter? Or your little friend?"

He can't help cracking a smile at that. "Mom, please stop calling Orli my little friend."

"Well, you know what I mean, sweetie. Just do something, okay? I hate seeing you like this."

Biting back the urge to tell her to stop looking at him then, he nods again and reaches for the phone.

"Are you calling Peter?"

"Nope," Will grins as he dials Orli's number. "I'm gonna say hello to my little friend," he says with an extremely bad Cuban accent.

"Such a smart aleck," Inez giggles, then waves goodbye to him.

Will waves back and turns down the volume a little as he waits for Orli to pick up.

TALIA'S GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!

Mom told me that an old friend of hers who knows the guy who dyes Talia's best friend's hair said he overheard her talking to Talia on the cellphone about Talia's upcoming nuptials! From what he could gather, the boyfriend had given Talia an ultimatum - marry him or lose him. I guess his little plan to keep screwing me by just living with her wasn't quite working out as he'd planned. Though, I wouldn't doubt if it was all Talia's little plan to keep making me pay and he just went along with it. I also don't doubt for a second that she loves the guy. He was her divorce attorney and they were fucking around during our divorce proceedings. She lived up to the woman scorned stereotype and, thanks to him, practically cleaned me out. Why wouldn't she love him? Plus, I know that he makes a hell of a good living with his practice, so she probably sees dollar signs whenever she looks into his eyes. Who said romance was dead?

Man...I can't believe it. It's like some wonderful dream... I would pinch myself, but just in case it's not real, I don't want to wake up. And it's not so much about the money.

( [LOCKED] )

It's the fact that she only wanted me to pay for cheating on her with Peter. Period. Her pride was hurt and she was going to get her pound of flesh one way or another. She got the house and practically all its contents, the cars, and even the boys. If she could have, she probably would have taken my job so I'd be completely destitute. All to punish me for what I did. Never mind that our marriage had practically been over for years. I let her screw me over - even though my divorce attorney wanted to throttle me - because I understood how deeply I'd hurt her. To this day, I totally understand why she hates me, and no matter how hopeful I am that one day we can sit down like civilized adults and talk, I'm not going to wait for her to stop cursing me every chance she gets. Still, it's not as if I tried to sue her for being a cold unfeeling bitch long before Peter even came back into my life.

Shit, I'm trying to be more forgiving and less judgmental. Deep breath, etc.

Good luck to her. May she live a long, happy, healthy life with her new husband. And, dear lord god, please don't let him turn out to be gay.

Current Mood: ecstatic

[locked from everybody]

I feel horrible. I mean, I feel great about so much. But it makes me feel horrible. But not completely. Which is just confusing.

I'm free of Kevin, he'll be going to prison any day now, Orli's been completely cleared of any wrongdoing and so far nothing's leaked out about the shooting. Thank god. I'm so happy with him and I just know that Mom and Peter will come around soon. They'd better, anyway. Like Orli and I have both said, we don't know what the future will bring, but for now we're good together. Really good.

But I feel awful about what he's lost. His baby girl died and he never even got to see her. I remember when Talia lost the baby - or said she did, anyway. Before I started to suspect her, and even though I wasn't that crazy about having a kid, I was still really thrown for a loop when I knew for sure there wouldn't be a baby. Orli really wanted this little girl, so how much harder must that be? On top of it, he's getting divorced from the woman who also happens to be his best friend, so the person he probably would have turned to for the support only best friends can give isn't there.

And, god, I can't even begin to imagine how Cordelia's feeling. I don't know her, I've only seen pictures of her, but I can't stop thinking about her. She's lost her baby and her husband. I can speculate that maybe the marriage would have ended in a gentler way than it will, but the baby... I wish I could stop thinking about it. And it's not as if Hallmark makes a card for something like this. I have no right to send condolences, and honestly I don't even feel as if I have the right to feel awful for her. But I do. And it's not guilt that makes me wish things could have gone down differently. I just don't think anyone deserves to be hurt that much.

~~Maybe I could send flowers?~~

After this and coinciding with this.

Inez Porter looked out of the living room window. The white sedan had been there for the past hour, and the man behind the wheel kept looking at her house. He didn't look dangerous, she decided, just lost. With Will gone, she wondered if she should call Peter about it. She didn't want to bother him, though. Besides, she knew that something had happened between the boys and she wasn't sure if Peter would have time to see her.

She looked out again, then decided she had to find out what was going on. Slipping her cell phone into her pocket, she opened the front door and jogged across the street.

"Hi," she said, waving and miming for the driver to roll down the window. "I was just wondering if you needed something. I couldn't help noticing you've been here for a little while."

The man smiled. "Are you Will Porter's mother?"

A little surprised, she laughed softly. "I am. Inez Porter," she said, offering her hand. "Are you a friend of Will's?"

"Yeah, we actually went to school together. I was debating knocking on the door and seeing if he'd remember me," the man said. "Kind of stupid of me, I guess. I should get going."

"Oh, sweetie, no," Inez said quickly. "Will's not here right now, but you're welcome to come in for some coffee or something."

"Do you know where he went?"

"I'm not sure," she said, thinking. "He said he might be gone overnight, but you can leave him a note and a way to contact you, if you like."

The man looked at her curiously. "Are you serious?"

"Of course, honey," she laughed. "Any friend of Will's is always welcome here."

"Well, okay then," the man smiled sweetly. "Thank you, Mrs. Porter." His cell phone rang then, and he looked at the screen to see who was calling. "Is it okay if I meet you inside? Just a quick business call."

"Sure, take your time," Inez smiled. "I'll go put some coffee on."

The man waited for Inez to head back to the house before answering his phone. "Yeah?"

"Is it the right house?"

"Yup. It really must have been his ex wife who tipped us off. I just talked to his mom. She's invited me in for coffee."

"Great. The ex won't agree to an interview, but see if you can get the mom to talk. Let's find out who the hell this guy is."

"You got it." The man hung up the phone and got out of the car. He turned on the microcassette recorder as he headed for the house.

I really like the new Justin Timberlake and John Mayer albums. Peter bought them for me as get well gifts. I'm partial to the John Mayer because it suits the way I'm feeling and it's nice and mellow. Plus, I think he has a sexy voice. I do have to give Justin some love, though, since "Sexyback" is pretty damn catchy. I'm over my standards phase for now.

Mom rented POTC and we watched it together after the lesbians left. It was cool watching it since, you know, Orli! I couldn't take my eyes off him. Mom teased me a little because I kept talking or getting up when he wasn't on screen, then shushing her when he was. I'm such a dork.

The lesbians have put me back on the list for sperm donors. The guy they'd decided on pulled out at the last minute. Um, I mean, he changed his mind. Not that he literally... So, anyway, I'm on a short list and they've asked me to think about it. Again. I'm leaning towards saying no because no child should be subjected to my genes. I think the talk about grandchildren got Mom even more excited about me doing this even though she's been told I'd have no legal right to the child. No more thinking about this until later. But I'm 99% sure I'll say no.

Peter's taking me to lunch tomorrow. He says he needs to talk to me about something important, but he can't stay over tonight because he has a meeting first thing in the morning. Wendell and Blade will be happy to have more room in the bed, I'm sure.

Oh, I almost forgot. Talia called today. She screamed something about me flaunting my filth so her friends could see it and then hung up on me. She's such a delicate flower. A fucking psychotic maneating Venus flytrap sort of flower.

Current Mood: good

I don't know why she did it considering I don't feel like showing my face to anyone but loved ones, but Mom's invited the lesbians over for dinner tonight. Maybe I'll stay up in my room. I could break out the Casio and play haunting melodies and Mom can tell them she has her very own Phantom.

I need to train Blade and Wendell to bite ankles on command.

Current Mood: annoyed

BT

Sandy called today to see how I was doing. She started crying on the phone and I didn't know what to say. I felt so bad that she was so upset. She's promised to come visit me. Oh, she said that Alex (the man formerly known as "New Boss") was fired for committing lewd acts with his subordinate at the office. She thinks I should contact Big Boss and let him know that it happened to me, too, because he's threatening to sue for discrimination. But I don't want to have anything to do with Seattle ever again. I'm sure he won't win. He screwed around at work. His being fired has nothing to do with his sexuality.

Blade and Wendell are becoming fast friends. Wendell follows Blade everywhere and even tries to imitate the adorable little poses Blade has. It's the funniest thing, and if I didn't see it with my own eyes, I wouldn't believe it. Mom's spoiling the both of them, calls them her grandchildren and ordered them little doggie tee shirts off the internet. They're the closest she'll get to being a grandmother. Even though I know she's fine with it, sometimes I feel bad that Talia and I didn't have kids. Then again, the custody battle would have been brutal and she would have moved to Iceland just for spite to keep my kid away from me.

Mom just came up to tell me breakfast is ready and asked what I'm typing about. I read it to her (just the second paragraph). I won't say what she said, but she did make me blush.

Oh, I've decided to stop thinking about anything or anyone bad. Less chance of making myself nuts. So I'm just letting myself think about all the things and people that make me happy. It's a surprisingly long list.

BT
ooc: Until I've decided when bendy time catches up with real time, Will's posts will be marked with a teeny 'BT' at the top.

This will be short.

I'm home. Mom hasn't left my side since I got in and she's been trying to feed me non-stop. I haven't talked to her about what happened and she's not pushing. She's just taking care of me. Blade and Wendell have been really clingy, too. It's so sweet. They're on my bed right now.

Now that I can, I might go back to my daily posts. We'll see.

I'm sleepy, I miss Orlando, Kevin's an asshole and Peter's staying over tonight because I don't want to sleep alone. The lug's way too good at being a security blanket.

Meds then bed.

Current Mood: anxious

After this.

Will lets Blade off his leash as soon as they get back to the house and the dog goes racing towards the kitchen. When Will hears his mother's delighted cry and Blade's happy little barks, he smiles at Peter.

"I think those two are bonding pretty well," he says.

"I'll say," Peter agrees as he pulls Will into a hug. "You want me to go keep your lovah busy while you talk to Mom?"

"Wow, you just get right to the point, don't you?" Will smiles as Peter squeezes him and kisses his cheek.

"I do," Peter nods. "We can watch TV or something. I can tell him all your secrets and drag out the baby pictures."

Will smacks Peter's ass. "At risk of death."

Peter lets Will go but not before kissing him on the forehead. "Go see your mom and I'll go find Orli, and we'll give you guys some privacy. It'll be okay."

Will looks at his best friend and takes a deep breath. Peter has seen him at his best and his worst, and the two of them have an understanding that he's rarely found with anyone else. It's not that much of a surprise that Peter's okay with everything. But his mother might be a different story.

"Okay, see you guys in a little while," Will says, turning and heading for the kitchen.
( Read more... )

Current Mood: confused

Peter's looking out the living room window when he sees Will's rental pull up. "Car!" he calls out to Will's mom, and takes a closer look. When he sees a figure in the front seat, he frowns. "And he's brought someone with him."

He's been helping Inez Porter get things ready for Will's visit, the both of them excited to see him. But Will hadn't told them anything about bringing someone along.

"Who is it, sweetie?" Inez asks, emerging from the kitchen where she's been getting lunch ready for her boys.

"I don't know," Peter shrugs. "Kevin maybe? He could have changed his mind about coming."

"Well, it's about damn time," Inez says. "What kind of man doesn't want to meet his boyfriend's family?"

Peter laughs and kisses her on the cheek. "Let's find out, shall we?"

In the car, Will looks over at Orli and smiles. Blade's happily perched in Orli's lap, looking every inch the proper little gentleman.

"I feel that I should warn you that my mom is a serial cheek pincher, and Pete has no idea you're coming. So, if you get shrieked at while your face is getting squeezed, I apologize now."

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March 2007

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Feels Like Starting Over

Entries tagged with mom

I'm an asshole

A few clarifications and random things

What I'm thankful for

Thoughts

Odd and ends and awesome news

Inez, Will and Orlando

Some random things and stuff

A little bit of this, a little bit of that

Wedding bells

Stuff

Calling Orlando

HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thinking

Mom at home

Random stuff and more lesbians

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Connecticut - Talking to Mom

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