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Oct. 12th, 2006
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[locked from everybody]
I feel horrible. I mean, I feel great about so much. But it makes me feel horrible. But not completely. Which is just confusing.
I'm free of Kevin, he'll be going to prison any day now, Orli's been completely cleared of any wrongdoing and so far nothing's leaked out about the shooting. Thank god. I'm so happy with him and I just know that Mom and Peter will come around soon. They'd better, anyway. Like Orli and I have both said, we don't know what the future will bring, but for now we're good together. Really good.
But I feel awful about what he's lost. His baby girl died and he never even got to see her. I remember when Talia lost the baby - or said she did, anyway. Before I started to suspect her, and even though I wasn't that crazy about having a kid, I was still really thrown for a loop when I knew for sure there wouldn't be a baby. Orli really wanted this little girl, so how much harder must that be? On top of it, he's getting divorced from the woman who also happens to be his best friend, so the person he probably would have turned to for the support only best friends can give isn't there.
And, god, I can't even begin to imagine how Cordelia's feeling. I don't know her, I've only seen pictures of her, but I can't stop thinking about her. She's lost her baby and her husband. I can speculate that maybe the marriage would have ended in a gentler way than it will, but the baby... I wish I could stop thinking about it. And it's not as if Hallmark makes a card for something like this. I have no right to send condolences, and honestly I don't even feel as if I have the right to feel awful for her. But I do. And it's not guilt that makes me wish things could have gone down differently. I just don't think anyone deserves to be hurt that much.
Maybe I could send flowers?
I feel horrible. I mean, I feel great about so much. But it makes me feel horrible. But not completely. Which is just confusing.
I'm free of Kevin, he'll be going to prison any day now, Orli's been completely cleared of any wrongdoing and so far nothing's leaked out about the shooting. Thank god. I'm so happy with him and I just know that Mom and Peter will come around soon. They'd better, anyway. Like Orli and I have both said, we don't know what the future will bring, but for now we're good together. Really good.
But I feel awful about what he's lost. His baby girl died and he never even got to see her. I remember when Talia lost the baby - or said she did, anyway. Before I started to suspect her, and even though I wasn't that crazy about having a kid, I was still really thrown for a loop when I knew for sure there wouldn't be a baby. Orli really wanted this little girl, so how much harder must that be? On top of it, he's getting divorced from the woman who also happens to be his best friend, so the person he probably would have turned to for the support only best friends can give isn't there.
And, god, I can't even begin to imagine how Cordelia's feeling. I don't know her, I've only seen pictures of her, but I can't stop thinking about her. She's lost her baby and her husband. I can speculate that maybe the marriage would have ended in a gentler way than it will, but the baby... I wish I could stop thinking about it. And it's not as if Hallmark makes a card for something like this. I have no right to send condolences, and honestly I don't even feel as if I have the right to feel awful for her. But I do. And it's not guilt that makes me wish things could have gone down differently. I just don't think anyone deserves to be hurt that much.