Gah

[porter_inc]

I swear, I can't remember the last time I updated this thing. I was doing so well with writing every day and then I lost my job and ended up doing something crazy like getting a life where I don't have to be at my computer all day. I guess it helps that I've had things to do around here and I can be up with Kev and his crazy schedule. When Kev's not here, I've been writing, but I've been doing that in notebooks like I did as a kid. It's easier for me somehow and doesn't feel like work the way sitting at a computer does.

Anyway, the reason I had to write after all this time is because I've been propositioned.

Remember my mother's lesbians? Yeah, me neither. I mean, they were sweet and everything when I met them, but I kind of forgot about them once I got back to Seattle. Anyway, guess who they told my mom they'd like to be a sperm donor? I almost dropped the phone. And I haven't even thought about discussing it with Kevin yet.

Part of me thinks, "Aw, I can do so much to help them, and it'll be a real gift."

Part of me thinks, "Cool, I'll be a dad, and I won't have any of the responsibility that goes with it."

Part of me thinks, "Damn, I'll be a dad, and I might be expected to actually care."

I guess those last two are basically the same thought. Nothing's been discussed at this point. Mom said she was "floating the idea." I think I need to talk to the lesbians myself and see if it was really their idea or if Mom's just trying to pump a grandchild out of me by any means necessary.

Comments

[logan-maxwell.livejournal.com]

To be honest I don't really know. One part of me would love to be a Dad; but another part... Well, I doubt if my lifestyle would ever change enough to accommodate a child.

*shrugs* Then again, I never thought I would get involved in a serious relationship again and now I find myself in New York just for the chance to be with someone special.

So really, I guess it's hard to say.

[ex-will-port106.livejournal.com]

*nods* It's really hard to know what life will throw at you next. But how awesome when it's something good like someone special.

*grins*

So how're things going for you two? How's New York working out?

[logan-maxwell.livejournal.com]

*A nod and soft smile* Yeah, I definitely don't have any complaints.

*smiles* We're taking things slow - very slow, but I think that's working for us. I like the idea that we're taking the time to become friends first and the rest is just happening as it happens.

As for New York... *shrugs* It's New York I guess...

[ex-will-port106.livejournal.com]

Slow is very good, which might be weird for me to say since Kevin and I moved so quickly, but when slow feels right, then it's right.

*smiles* With New York, I think you either love it or hate it.

[logan-maxwell.livejournal.com]

*small nod* I'd have to agree with you there. Every relationship is different and they all have their own pace.

It's not really the city that I dislike, it's more what the city represents or holds. *shrugs*

[ex-will-port106.livejournal.com]

What does it represent to you?

[logan-maxwell.livejournal.com]

I uh, I have a brother who lives in New York. We don't talk and it just makes things easier if there's no chance of running into each other.

But, New York is a big place right? We live in different boroughs so it shouldn't be a problem. ... Hopefully anyway.

[ex-will-port106.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow, that must be really tough. But, yeah, New York's pretty huge. It's hard finding people when you want to. You should be okay.

How long have you guys been estranged?

[logan-maxwell.livejournal.com]

Almost three years. *shrugs and looks away*

Do you have any siblings Will?

[ex-will-port106.livejournal.com]

*nods and decides not to pry*

I don't have any siblings, no. Though, for a few years, I was convinced that I was one of the Osmonds.

[logan-maxwell.livejournal.com]

*sigh of relief at no further inquiry*

The Osmonds? As in Donny and Marie?

[ex-will-port106.livejournal.com]

*grins* Yep. They always seemed so happy. I wanted to be in a family that looked happy all the time.

[logan-maxwell.livejournal.com]

*laughs* I'm not sure I could have handled all the singing and dancing all the time.

*sobers* Unfortunately looks can be deceiving - not that I know all that much about the Osmond's or how happy they actually were. *small pause* Your Dad didn't make home life all that happy I take it?

[ex-will-port106.livejournal.com]

I was a disappointment to him. He acted accordingly, yeah.

[logan-maxwell.livejournal.com]

*shakes head* I still think your Dad could have used a lesson or two in being a father.

Sorry, it's still not any of my business and I shouldn't disrespect the man, he was still your Dad.

[ex-will-port106.livejournal.com]

It's okay. You're not saying anything I haven't thought.

[logan-maxwell.livejournal.com]

Still. Apologies. I'm sure you have some good memories of him as well...

[ex-will-port106.livejournal.com]

I appreciate that, thanks. And I do have some good memories. Vacations, camping trips. That kind of thing. When we were out of the house, he was better.

[logan-maxwell.livejournal.com]

That's something. *smiles* And you're fairly close to your Mom are you not?

[ex-will-port106.livejournal.com]

I am. Very close. But not in a weird way. She's my number one fan.

Are you? Close to your mom, I mean. Not my number one fan. *grins*

[logan-maxwell.livejournal.com]

*smiles* I know what you mean. Mom's can be the greatest can't they?

I was. She passed away about five years ago.

[ex-will-port106.livejournal.com]

I'm very sorry to hear that.

[logan-maxwell.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

[ex-will-port106.livejournal.com]

What happened? If you don't mind my asking.

[logan-maxwell.livejournal.com]

No, I don't mind... It was a heart attack. I was told it was rather sudden.