WTF

[porter_inc]

Mom knows that I'm not a practicing Catholic. She knows that I only do the Big Masses when I'm in the mood and that's about it. So why would she scold me for not going to church on Wednesday (Ash Wednesday - which I actually forgot because the Catholic fucking church is not really on my mind much these days) and not giving up anything for Lent? Believe it or not, there's an answer.

She wants to make sure that God sees fit to make sure the baby's born healthy, and, since I'm the father, it's important for me to "be vigilant" while Ann's pregnant. (Maybe angry hordes are on the hunt for her and the bambino...?) I'm not sure if she knows that Ann's an agnostic.

I don't know when my mother turned into a religious freak and lost her grip on reality. You'd think that there would be warning signs or something. I didn't have the energy to tell her that if my being a good little boy is what would keep the baby safe, the poor kid wouldn't have a chance.

My mother is usually a very rational, grounded woman, so I know that all the excitement about Baby is making her a little loony. I'm thinking of humoring her and telling her that I'll give up scotch starting today. I won't, but I'll tell her I did.

Comments

[whiteabsolution.livejournal.com]

Mums love to worry. It makes them feel complete.

[ex-will-port106.livejournal.com]

My mother has got to be the most complete woman alive. *smiles*

[logan-maxwell.livejournal.com]

Just a suggestion, but if you're going to tell her you gave up something, tell her you gave up something you don't use. That way if by chance she happens to catch you at the wrong time you don't have to worry about upsetting her with how you didn't keep your lent commitment.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_call_me_snake_/]

Took my damned idea.

[logan-maxwell.livejournal.com]

Great minds think a like they say!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_call_me_snake_/]

You can say that again. Too used to pulling our own asses out of trouble.

[logan-maxwell.livejournal.com]

Great minds think alike they say!

*grins* Sorry, couldn't resist.

I almost prefer it that way. It's great to know you have back-up, but I still rather depend on myself only.

[ex-will-port106.livejournal.com]

That's a good idea. But, I think I'm actually going to do it for real. Orli suggested we take her advice, so I might as well keep my word now. *grins* She'll be thrilled.

[logan-maxwell.livejournal.com]

*smiles* I'm sure she will be. And really, cutting out alcohol is never a bad thing... Or are you just cutting out Scotch?

[ex-will-port106.livejournal.com]

Just scotch. I already have a substitute. Brandy. I was going to go with bourbon, but I couldn't.

[logan-maxwell.livejournal.com]

Couldn't... Why's that?

I've never really tried to stray much from Whiskey.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_call_me_snake_/]

You ever think this might got something to do with family? Don't mean to be a fuck about this but you are gay. Whether she's thinking it or not might be the only chance your mom's got to be a grandmother. Sure that's fucking all that maternal workings right to hell.

[ex-will-port106.livejournal.com]

I know that's what it is. Doesn't make her any less insane, though. *sighs*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_call_me_snake_/]

I don't think its insane.

[ex-will-port106.livejournal.com]

Snake, the baby will be born whether or not I get religious. I'm doing this to ease her mind, but I can't think that my giving up a few drinks is going to have any effect on Ann and Junior.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_call_me_snake_/]

Sure, it'll be born but can't say taking on a bit of the responsibility of a man with a pregnant girl's going to do you any harm. I think I agree with your mom on a certain level.

[orlandomuse.livejournal.com]

Sweetheart, if it makes your mother happy, let's do it. We can go to church and we can both give up something.

Besides, if it helps....

[ex-will-port106.livejournal.com]

*smiles* Okay, baby, we can do it. I'll even give up scotch for real.

And you're going to become my mother's favorite son with this, you know.

[orlandomuse.livejournal.com]

I wonder what I should give up?

[ex-will-port106.livejournal.com]

I'll only protest if you say snuggling.

What about tea? Or is that too big?

[orlandomuse.livejournal.com]

I was thinking about tea. I can do that. It's a hardship, but not too much of one.

So, when do we go to church?

[woodlandprince.livejournal.com]

*quirks an eyebrow*
What has your devotion to a religion to do with the health of the child or your giving up this 'scotch'?

By the way, melar, what is scotch or Lent and what have ashes to do with Wednesday?

ooc-Poor confuzzled Points. He doesn't get this at all and he wouldn't let his mun explain. I was told, very politely, that this is between himself and Will.

[ex-will-port106.livejournal.com]

*laughs* The easy answer to the first question is that it's Mom being superstitious and using a religious ritual as a way to act on that and ease her mind.

Now, scotch is an alcoholic beverage - my favorite, actually. Lent is a 40-day period (not counting Sundays) of fasting and penitence that ends on Easter (the day that Jesus Christ was resurrected after being crucified for our sins. Man, that's a long story in and of itself). Giving up something we enjoy for Lent is part of that penitence. I think that technically we should learn to live a more pious life and do away with whatever vice we give up, but that's not happening in the Bloom-Porter household (or any others that I know of). I guess if you left out the religious parts, you could think of Lent as a time for a little soul cleansing before welcoming the renewal of Spring. The Catholic church is less nature and spiritually based and more "wrath of God coming down on your head" based, though. Ash Wednesday is the first day of Lent. You go to church, get blessed by a priest and he smudges your forehead with a cross of ash. You wear it all day, get asked questions by strangers or told "Buddy, you've got a little something there" and have to explain yourself, and then you get to wash it off after sundown. I don't remember exactly where the ash came from, but I think it's tied to Palm Sunday which is... God. How the hell did I ever learn all this Catholic shit? Anyway, the mark is supposed to remind you that you're imperfect and God is perfect, and I know there's some humiliation in there somewhere.

Hmm...I bet my mom's priest could explain it all to you if you really wanted to know more of a believer's understanding and less of my, "Stop the Vatican, I want to get off," jabbering. I try to be respectful because Mom's still practicing, but I can't really trust a religion that hates me because of who I love.

[woodlandprince.livejournal.com]

Ah, this 'Christ' interests me. The concept of needing a sacrifice to expiate 'sin' is as puzzling as is why this man would go willingly with those he knew would kill him. Indeed this entire concept of 'sin' is puzzling. You have said before that this 'catholic church' finds love between men to be wrong, to be a 'sin', but I do not understand why this would be so. If a man is honorable, defends those weaker than himself, deals fairly with his fellows and speaks truth as well as he may, of what concern is it whom he choses to join with? And what has humiliation to do with living 'piously' and the imperfection of non-deities to do with 'salvation'. I also find myself unsure of what it is humans feel the need to be 'saved' from.

I fear, melar, that this is one subject which I can view with nothing but puzzlement, did you and a cadre of these 'priests' explain until I am old.

[ex-will-port106.livejournal.com]

If I wasn't already engaged, I'd ask you to marry me! *grins*

Those are the kinds of questions that made me question my faith. There are parts of it I still like but they're the parts that talk about doing good deeds, so it's not as if that's purely a Catholic teaching. But there's so much about it that makes no sense but the devout will never see it. I suppose they shouldn't have to if it adds something to their lives. But it stopped giving me anything long ago.