porter_inc | Valentine's Day with his Boo

Orlando just shakes his head. He doesn't know what to say, and he's trembling.

"It's okay, baby," Will whispers when he feels Orli start trembling. "Come on," he says, gently leading him back over to the bed and pulling back the covers.

Orlando balks at lying back down. "I think I'd like to take a walk, if that's okay with you."

"Of course it is," Will says softly, then swallows. "Alone?"

Orlando reaches for Will's hand. "With you. Always with you, baby. I'm not trying to push you away, I swear."

Will squeezes Orli's hand and lets out a relieved breath. "I don't want you to feel like you can't have your space," he says, then grabs Orli and hugs him. "But I'd much rather you have your space with me in it."

Orlando holds him close. "I want that too." He kisses him gently. "I'll let you know if I ever need some time alone. I just want to walk off some nervous energy right now."

Will kisses him back, nodding. "That sounds like a great idea," he says, giving him another quick kiss. "But let's really bundle up, okay? It's gorgeous outside, but it's freezing."

Orlando laughs. "When have you ever seen me without my jacket?" He puts it on, then wraps his favorite scarf around his neck, and pulls a beanie on. "I think I'm ready."

Will grins as he puts on his coat and gloves. "Just making sure you don't get pneumonia," he says, taking Orli's hand as they head outside.

Orlando grins. "I take my vitamins," he promises.

Will's right, it's freezing, but he stays close to him and holds his hand, and it doesn't seem so bad.

After they walk a bit, Orlando asks, "What if I don't want to do that any more?"

Will gives Orlando's hand a squeeze and offers a little shrug. "Then we don't do it anymore," he says. He takes Orli's arm and hooks it with his own so they can be closer. "I in love with you, sweetheart. Not whatever games we may play."

Orlando doesn't look convinced. "But what if it's like I was with Cordy? I wasn't getting what I needed sexually."

"Because you were a gay man married to a woman," Will says. "Do you think that what we did is something you'll need but won't feel comfortable getting from me?" He stops and looks at Orlando. "Baby, I want you to be honest with me about this. Please."

"No," Orlando says firmly. "I'm more concerned that if I can't do it anymore, that you'll need it."

For an instant, Will looks at Orlando with a mixture of confusion and surprise. "You're talking about me?" He lets out a quick breath and pulls Orlando into his arms. "Sweetheart, I thought... God, no, baby. I don't need that stuff to be with you. I... It was something other lovers liked and I thought you liked it, but I can take it or leave it. I don't need it. Not by any stretch of the imagination, I promise you."

Orlando looks at him seriously, then begins to smile. "Really? You're completely sure?"

"Baby, I am so sure, I'll let you watch while I dump most of the stuff in my toy box." Will returns the smile, relieved. For a second, he'd seriously thought that Orlando would want to look elsewhere for something that was obviously damaging and self-destructive.

"I would do it if you asked and if I was sure you'd like it. But the only thing I need is to be with you." He gives Orli a sweet kiss, then rubs his cold nose against an equally pink one. "I'm sorry if I made you feel otherwise. Or if I forced you into it..."

Orlando cups Will's face in his hands. "Don't you dare say that. You didn't force me. I wanted it too, or at least I did for part of it, and when I started feeling uncomfortable, I should have used the safeword. I don't want you to dump your stuff, either. Not yet, at least. We'll talk about it more, as things go on in therapy, all right?"

Will nods slowly, seeing nothing but truth and love in his lover's eyes. "All right," he whispers. "I'll do anything you need to feel better, you know. Anything."

Orlando kisses his nose. "I know that. Deep down, beneath the old shit, I know that. I just have to learn how to know that even when I'm really scared. And Will, I'm never ever scared of you. I'm scared of my own thoughts, my own feelings. You have never, could never frighten me. I know you. I trust you," he adds, holding Will's hands close to his own heart.

Will's heart is beating so hard, it's almost painful in his chest. "I love you and I trust you so much," he says softly. "And that's... Knowing that's how you feel means so much more than you can know." He touches his mouth to Orlando's, just savoring the closeness for a moment. "You'll get through this. I have faith in you. You're so strong, baby."

Orlando nods. "I will. I can do it, now that I'm on the right path. I'll find that pot of gold," he says, and he smiles. "I will need you, Will Porter. Even if it feels like I'm pushing you away, I will need you."

"And I'll be right there with you," Will nods, pressing the palm of his hand to Orli's chest. "You're my boo," he smiles. "You won't get rid of me unless you sneak out of town in the middle of the night." He narrows his eyes as if thinking about that. "Of course, I'd track you like a bloodhound, so not even then."

Orlando laughs. "I might try it sometime, just to see if I can do it!" His eyes sparkle with mischief.

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