porter_inc (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
porter_inc) wrote2006-12-20 05:43 pm
porter_inc) wrote2006-12-20 05:43 pm
Entry tags:
100moods: Nervous
[LOCKED]
Present day
I'm really doing it.
In a few days, I am going to ask the man I love to be mine. Really mine.
I'm so positive that it's the right thing to do, I'm feeling completely confident about it. But, sometimes, I start to worry that it's too soon. Then again, is there anything we've done that hasn't been thought of as "too soon" by some? And why should we be bothered by anyone else's opinions, anyway? I know how I feel and I know what I want. It's him. His is the only opinion that matters. He's the only one who can make the final decision.
I don't want to make him feel as if I'm pushing him to move too quickly, though. I love him. I adore him. I can't think of anything I'd rather do than spend my life with him. But if he's not ready for this, I'll understand. I really will. I want to make him as happy as he makes me.
I know he loves me. He never lets me doubt that for a moment. I know that when he looks at me, I'm the only person he sees. I know that he trusts me and is confident in my love for him.
Then why am I so scared? No, not scared. That would imply I don't want to do this. No matter the outcome, I know I want to do this.
I'm nervous. I feel as if I'm going to be holding my breath until I finally ask him. It's so strange to feel nervous when I think about anything connected to him. But I'm excited. I can't stop thinking about our future or how much I love him or how happy he makes me. Sometimes I want to cry because the things I feel for him are so overwhelming. This has never happened to me before, and I can only imagine what kind of life I would have had if I'd felt a tiny fraction of this kind of love for Talia. But I couldn't because she wasn't who I was supposed to be with forever.
He's thoughtful, he's beautiful both inside and out, he makes me laugh, he's caring and shows a humanity that can take my breath away. That's only part of what makes me love him. He's also brutally honest about himself and makes no excuses for the mistakes he's made in the past. He has told me so much about his past, and he's owned up to everything he's done that hurt other people. It breaks my heart that he's harder on himself than any of them could ever be, but I know he's a good man and that's why he cares so much. I also know he's afraid of hurting me, too, but I'm going to do everything in my power to convince him that he doesn't have to be afraid of ever doing that. No matter what happens, I'm always going to love him. I can't help it.
A few more days. That's all. I never thought I'd want to do it again, but he's changed my life and shown me what love really is.
I'm really doing it. I'm really going to ask him to marry me.
Please let him say yes.
Present day
I'm really doing it.
In a few days, I am going to ask the man I love to be mine. Really mine.
I'm so positive that it's the right thing to do, I'm feeling completely confident about it. But, sometimes, I start to worry that it's too soon. Then again, is there anything we've done that hasn't been thought of as "too soon" by some? And why should we be bothered by anyone else's opinions, anyway? I know how I feel and I know what I want. It's him. His is the only opinion that matters. He's the only one who can make the final decision.
I don't want to make him feel as if I'm pushing him to move too quickly, though. I love him. I adore him. I can't think of anything I'd rather do than spend my life with him. But if he's not ready for this, I'll understand. I really will. I want to make him as happy as he makes me.
I know he loves me. He never lets me doubt that for a moment. I know that when he looks at me, I'm the only person he sees. I know that he trusts me and is confident in my love for him.
Then why am I so scared? No, not scared. That would imply I don't want to do this. No matter the outcome, I know I want to do this.
I'm nervous. I feel as if I'm going to be holding my breath until I finally ask him. It's so strange to feel nervous when I think about anything connected to him. But I'm excited. I can't stop thinking about our future or how much I love him or how happy he makes me. Sometimes I want to cry because the things I feel for him are so overwhelming. This has never happened to me before, and I can only imagine what kind of life I would have had if I'd felt a tiny fraction of this kind of love for Talia. But I couldn't because she wasn't who I was supposed to be with forever.
He's thoughtful, he's beautiful both inside and out, he makes me laugh, he's caring and shows a humanity that can take my breath away. That's only part of what makes me love him. He's also brutally honest about himself and makes no excuses for the mistakes he's made in the past. He has told me so much about his past, and he's owned up to everything he's done that hurt other people. It breaks my heart that he's harder on himself than any of them could ever be, but I know he's a good man and that's why he cares so much. I also know he's afraid of hurting me, too, but I'm going to do everything in my power to convince him that he doesn't have to be afraid of ever doing that. No matter what happens, I'm always going to love him. I can't help it.
A few more days. That's all. I never thought I'd want to do it again, but he's changed my life and shown me what love really is.
I'm really doing it. I'm really going to ask him to marry me.
Please let him say yes.