Listen to me, baby. No, don't just listen. Hear me, because this is going to be long.
I love you. I understand your fears and your self-doubt. They're valid, I respect them and I'm not trying to belittle them in any way.
Sweetheart, you cannot be responsible for everything that has gone wrong in your past relationships. As nice as it would be to think I'm perfect, if anything went wrong with us, I would have to take some of the blame. Maybe just a teeny part since I'm pretty great - kidding - but it wouldn't all be you. It's never just one person's fault.
Not to be cruel, but Cordelia's the one who willingly married a gay man and fell in love with him. Unless she's part of that religious group that thinks the gay can be reversed in someone, she went into a really iffy situation with her eyes wide open. You may not have mourned her the "right" way, but you did mourn her. I know you did. People who really know you know that you did. Besides, men are wired differently when it comes to being widowed. Women have these romantic notions of a guy being so sad his dick falls off and he never loves again. But, come on. Sex can be a release for grief just as much as wailing, sobbing and beating your chest. Add being a gay guy to the mix and sex is most definitely going to factor into the whole mourning thing. I know it was primarily a physical thing in those early days because we're both attractive men who wanted each other and needed what we could get from one another. It had nothing to do with how much you loved Cordelia. When she came back from the dead, you told me that she didn't want to try and work things out because she was pissed off about me being in the picture. And she wanted the divorce! So how in the world could you have done anything more? There are laws against holding someone down and forcing them to try and work things out. From what you've told me, she's a strong, independent woman who knows her own mind. You wouldn't have changed it and it doesn't sound like she wanted you to try. You broke her heart by moving on too quickly after you thought she was dead. Baby, if I died and you hooked up with someone else, I wouldn't begrudge you your happiness or expect you to put your life on hold just because I wasn't there. I hate to say it, but that way of thinking is very, very female.
I'm sorry. I don't mean to vent, but what in the world did you do wrong that isn't what any other man could be guilty of doing? Peter and I were together less than a month after he lost his partner of seven years. A man he adored with all his heart. If any of his friends tried to judge him as harshly as you're judging yourself right now, I would have left him. Should I leave, baby? If I walk away right now, is that going to make everything and everyone feel better and alleviate your guilt about what you did to her and what you might possibly do to me in the future?
no subject
I love you. I understand your fears and your self-doubt. They're valid, I respect them and I'm not trying to belittle them in any way.
Sweetheart, you cannot be responsible for everything that has gone wrong in your past relationships. As nice as it would be to think I'm perfect, if anything went wrong with us, I would have to take some of the blame. Maybe just a teeny part since I'm pretty great - kidding - but it wouldn't all be you. It's never just one person's fault.
Not to be cruel, but Cordelia's the one who willingly married a gay man and fell in love with him. Unless she's part of that religious group that thinks the gay can be reversed in someone, she went into a really iffy situation with her eyes wide open. You may not have mourned her the "right" way, but you did mourn her. I know you did. People who really know you know that you did. Besides, men are wired differently when it comes to being widowed. Women have these romantic notions of a guy being so sad his dick falls off and he never loves again. But, come on. Sex can be a release for grief just as much as wailing, sobbing and beating your chest. Add being a gay guy to the mix and sex is most definitely going to factor into the whole mourning thing. I know it was primarily a physical thing in those early days because we're both attractive men who wanted each other and needed what we could get from one another. It had nothing to do with how much you loved Cordelia. When she came back from the dead, you told me that she didn't want to try and work things out because she was pissed off about me being in the picture. And she wanted the divorce! So how in the world could you have done anything more? There are laws against holding someone down and forcing them to try and work things out. From what you've told me, she's a strong, independent woman who knows her own mind. You wouldn't have changed it and it doesn't sound like she wanted you to try. You broke her heart by moving on too quickly after you thought she was dead. Baby, if I died and you hooked up with someone else, I wouldn't begrudge you your happiness or expect you to put your life on hold just because I wasn't there. I hate to say it, but that way of thinking is very, very female.
I'm sorry. I don't mean to vent, but what in the world did you do wrong that isn't what any other man could be guilty of doing? Peter and I were together less than a month after he lost his partner of seven years. A man he adored with all his heart. If any of his friends tried to judge him as harshly as you're judging yourself right now, I would have left him. Should I leave, baby? If I walk away right now, is that going to make everything and everyone feel better and alleviate your guilt about what you did to her and what you might possibly do to me in the future?