porter_inc: (cappucino heart)
[locked]

I'm having a teeny bopper moment. On the outside, I'm cool as a cuke, but inside? There's squealing and possibly some cartwheels and/or bouncing.

He said he loves me.

I didn't push him to say it and I wasn't expecting him to say it, and I would have honestly been just as happy with him if he never said it. He's so wonderful at showing it and I feel so loved when we're together. Plus, experience has taught me that you can say anything you like, but if your actions don't back it up, the words are pretty hollow. So, no, I wasn't waiting for it like some desperate girl waiting for a proposal.

But - and here's where the teeny bopper thing comes in - when he did say it, I felt so happy, I wanted to squeal and call up everyone I know to tell them. In a way, it gave me the okay to stop holding back for fear of making him feel pressured by my own feelings for him. Does that make sense? It did when I was thinking it...

Anyway, that's where we stand. Two guys in love despite the fact that nobody thinks we should be.

Now I get nostalgic and cease being a "real" man (if I ever was one):
Read more... )

Thinking

Oct. 12th, 2006 07:03 pm
porter_inc: (cappucino)
[locked from everybody]

I feel horrible. I mean, I feel great about so much. But it makes me feel horrible. But not completely. Which is just confusing.

I'm free of Kevin, he'll be going to prison any day now, Orli's been completely cleared of any wrongdoing and so far nothing's leaked out about the shooting. Thank god. I'm so happy with him and I just know that Mom and Peter will come around soon. They'd better, anyway. Like Orli and I have both said, we don't know what the future will bring, but for now we're good together. Really good.

But I feel awful about what he's lost. His baby girl died and he never even got to see her. I remember when Talia lost the baby - or said she did, anyway. Before I started to suspect her, and even though I wasn't that crazy about having a kid, I was still really thrown for a loop when I knew for sure there wouldn't be a baby. Orli really wanted this little girl, so how much harder must that be? On top of it, he's getting divorced from the woman who also happens to be his best friend, so the person he probably would have turned to for the support only best friends can give isn't there.

And, god, I can't even begin to imagine how Cordelia's feeling. I don't know her, I've only seen pictures of her, but I can't stop thinking about her. She's lost her baby and her husband. I can speculate that maybe the marriage would have ended in a gentler way than it will, but the baby... I wish I could stop thinking about it. And it's not as if Hallmark makes a card for something like this. I have no right to send condolences, and honestly I don't even feel as if I have the right to feel awful for her. But I do. And it's not guilt that makes me wish things could have gone down differently. I just don't think anyone deserves to be hurt that much.

Maybe I could send flowers?
porter_inc: (side)
[ooc: Will and I didn't want to set up anything specific without finalizing with muns/pups first, so feel free to run into him here, even if you don't know him and are just in the New York area. Hell, even if you just want to run by and shout "dork!" at him, feel free.

BTW, Christine, Eve and Billie can assume he called them :-) No rush or time limit, so no worries if you're busy/not interested.]


Will was staying in a hotel in Manhattan while he was there for his adventure of meeting his new friends. He'd called everyone who'd shown interest in meeting him but with whom he hadn't had a chance to finalize any plans for meeting. His messages had been short and basically said he'd be in the lounge and bar area. If they didn't catch him there, they could reach him on his cell.

Nursing a scotch, sitting at the bar and looking at the people who came in, Will felt happy to just be there. He loved New York. If he didn't miss Kevin so much, he'd probably stay for another week. For now, though, he'd enjoy the time he had left and keep people watching.

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