Jan. 16th, 2007

porter_inc: (William)
So I was thinking about something this morning as I lay in bed. Granted, I was still kind of sleepy because Orli and I had stayed up later than usual doing premarital things involving honey dust and feathers, but I was feeling pretty philosophical and deep. You know how people always say it's quality and not quantity that counts? They're right. It holds true for something as simple as investing in one really good item versus having several cheaper things around, as much as it does for something as serious as relationships. I was married for (all together now) 12 years, but they weren't quality years. On paper, my marriage looked like a success just because of how long we'd been together, but underneath it all, it had become a hollow mess. The level of my happiness during those years was nothing when compared to the complete joy I've experienced in the four and a half months I've had with Orlando. Our first date was dinner at the hotel in Scotland the day I arrived. At the time we weren't thinking of it in those terms, obviously. We were just two friends meeting and discussing our lives, but all that time we spent together, getting to know one another, was more precious to me than some of the years I've spent with some people. As Legolas recently said to me, time means nothing to the heart and you can love enough for a lifetime in a day. I wouldn't have ever believed that before Orlando.

This led me down the road to some other advice I'd gotten years ago from one of my old college professors. He told me that successful people will tell you the same thing over and over again: Be the best you that you can be and don't worry about what anyone else says about you. Whatever you think about yourself is what other people will think about you, and if you believe positive things about yourself, that's all that matters. Get rid of the negative people in your life. Not just that, but realize that jealousy can be a very powerful, harmful thing, and it's important not to let other people's jealousy affect you. If someone's envious of your life or your relationship or your friends, it's their problem. Don't let it become yours.

I have to admit that at the time I thought it was all a bunch of motivational speaker tripe, but he was actually telling me things that could help me if I'd only chosen to take them all in at the time. But I can do it now. I'm trying to live by this. Let go and let God. Or, let go and let (insert the name of your own higher power here). All I want to do is love my family and friends, and live every day to the fullest. I know how quickly it can be taken away, so I refuse to dwell on what could happen when there is so much happiness to be found in what is happening.

Now, we go from the sublime to the ridiculous. Doing that 27 questions meme called for me to give weird facts about myself. I didn't want to tell everyone the same thing, so I'm going to list what I've told folks so far:

- The thing I told Orlando
- I used to be afraid of mushrooms
- I eat apple cores
- I can walk on my hands
- I collected bottle caps when I was a kid
- I can burp the alphabet

I can't remember everything I told people, but I think that's it.


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