Jan. 10th, 2007

porter_inc: (thinking profile)
[locked]

I've started seeing the guy Dr. Irving recommended. I've been feeling so much better about everything, lately, but I'm doing this as a way to make sure I'm really ready to be married again. Does that sound weird? I'd think that proposing to the man I want to spend the rest of my life with would be the first clue that I am ready. But I'm scared because I don't want to screw this up. I haven't said anything to Orlando yet because I want to see how things go. Once I'm certain it'll help, I'll tell him.

Anyway, his name's David Blackney, he specializes in marriage and family therapy like Janice, and he reminds me of Mr. Rogers. He's very soft spoken, grandfatherly and wears a sweater. I actually got the Mr. Rogers theme song stuck in my head after our first session. Oy.

So far we've just been talking about my first marriage. It's a little strange to remember so many of the issues I had with Talia, and it's such a relief to go home to Orlando after it's all over. I don't feel overly emotional when I think about it, but I don't like dwelling on what's probably the biggest mistake of my life. He said he wants to talk about my other relationships, too, and what makes this one different enough for me to make this kind of commitment. Gee, talking about Kevin's going to be fun. There was actually a time when I considered marrying him - or thought about considering it, anyway - and knowing that scares the shit out of me. I was so caught up in him, and while it wasn't nearly as intense as what I feel for Orli, it was serious. And I couldn't have been more wrong about who he was. I know David's going to make me talk about the break up and the rape attack. I just hope it's quick. If he wants to start talking about Dad and the abuse, I'll just refer him to Janice. I'm not interested in going down that road with anyone but Orli, and that's only if he ever asks me about it.

I have to call Sandy this week. I'd like to arrange for her to meet me in L.A. when I'm ready to fly back to New York so we can take the same flight back. It'll be good to see her and I can explain in person that her being hired will be contingent on Orli meeting her and feeling that he can trust her to do the job. She's a smart woman so I'm sure she won't be expecting anything less

27 things

Jan. 10th, 2007 01:25 pm
porter_inc: (smile hammock)
From Orli and Wes.

I want to know 27 things about you. I don't care if we never talk, never liked each other, or if we already know everything about each other. You're on my flist, so let me know who actually reads this thing and who has better things to do.

Questions )

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